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August 7, 2005, 7:34 am PDT
to kaylee
Quote From: kaylee1985i would love to stay in contact with you in fact i have a problem maybe you can help me with i'm seeing a guy named well will call him(mitch) me and mitch have been togeather for 5 years next month and he's a great guy sometimes but other times he's abusive mentaly verbally and of course physically he calls me horrible names and treats me like a child who should have to answer to him i know that this sounds horrible and the answer to my problem is prety clear but i guess when you get used to hearing someone put you down you start to believe it and you lose your self esteem and thats the only reason i can come up with for why i stay with him other than love of course i guess if anything i should take the advice i gave you i am so torn i just dont know what to do maybe you can help me just give me your advice.  
thank you  
kaylee 
 
if anyone else has any advice please feel free to tell me i can use all the help and support i can get  about you and "mitch". Leave. Leave now. or you'll end up like me and trust me, nobody wants that. if you have children, do you really want that influence on them? I just came out of a similar situation and the harm it has done to my son and myself is devestating. My ex was bad about that. Mental and emotional abuse to me, is worse than the physical. At least the cuts bruises and broken bones heal. The emotional and mental scaring is far more difficult to heal. Fortunately for me there was no physical abuse in that relationship which lasted 10 long years. My ex would not let me have friends, go out, take us anywhere, my son could not go to headstart or play with other children, and he abused drugs and alcohol, ignored us when he was home and spent the rest of the time with other women. That said, take some more advice, dont think youre alone. Believe it or not, I have chosen to be in a relationship that is almost identical to the one i just left. But I have more control over this one. I digress, sorry. All Im saying is that if I can escape anyone can. And of those 10 years I spent 7 trying to escape. It was scarry, it still is scarry. I had the support of a wonderful daughter and son-in-law, who took in her mother and little brother. I still continue to work on my scars and build my self esteem which right now has hit rock bottom again. Ive been working on all that he took for me for 3 years. You can do this. If you have no one that will help you, go to your shelter for women in your town if you have one(I did that once) but please, dont wait another 5 years to leave. If you need additional support or to draw on someones strength, I'll gladly be there for you with mine. If you need to or want to stay in touch here on the board I'd be happy to help. by the way, just call me m. oh, and ps...."great guys" dont abuse their women.
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