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December 9, 2005, 4:48 pm PST
12/09 Ask Dr. Phil & Robin
Quote From: judyblue22When we had our second child (we only have two), we involved our daughter in the whole thing. The gap between them (51/2 years) was bigger than you have, so these ideas may not work for you. I think the real essence of success lies in making sure that your daughter feels that the role of "big sister" is very important:
- I had a book with photographs of the stages of fetal development so she knew what he looked like every month.
- She watched my ultrasounds.
- She talked and sang to him in my tummy.
- I don't remember where I got them, but I had a box of sample size baby products and she used them on her best friend, bunny foo-foo, to practice being a big sister.
- Before he was born, we picked out rattles and puppets for her to use to distract him if he cried.
- She was at the hospital waiting when I had my planned c-section.
- She was involved in choosing his name.
- She was the first person to feed him pablum.
- She taught him letters and numbers.
We also made sure that she was front and center and not overlooked by the extended family. They are now 7 and 13 and their relationship has always been wonderful. I rarely see any signs of jealousy or rivalry. Way to go !!! You did so many great things for your child. I'm a mom of 3 and a Childcare provider, my second child was born with significant special needs and I'm ever thankful that I took the time during my pregnancy to help my then 2 yr old son get ready for the quality time shift that would occur. The truth is with 1 they get all our time, with 2 or more the time each child is given is less. That is just reality, but it is nice to see someone prepare thier child for that shift. As a childcare provider I see what happens when you don't, I always encourage my parents to involve thier children in all of thier life because life should not be happening to them. Let our little ones celebrate the joy in our life withh us...after all it's thier life too.
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