Quote From: jenoc99My first advice to you is to not allow HIM to keep you from chatting with your friends on "yahoo"....that was NOT the real issue at all, he just threw that out as an excuse when he was confronted with the facts that you had in your hand (the cell phone bill) and his natural response was to try to provoke guilt in you, to make you feel like YOU forced him to do that. But I hope you know 100% that you had nothing to do with his decision to hook up with this woman, there could be many reasons he did this but its not because you went on a trail ride on your birthday with friends!! He would love for you to truly believe that. The reasons he did contact her could be many, such as boredom, or his sense of low self esteem causing him to need to feel that another woman was attracted to him, or maybe he just thought he could get away with it just for the fun of it. Whatever the true reasons are, you had no control over it. Only HE controls his actions and reactions. His story is not believable. Have you considered talking to this old friend of yours, asking her what is going on? Maybe you could call and just say, "He's already told me, now I want to hear it from you..." something like this- it could get you the rest of the story. But then you would know for sure. So where you are at right now is you know that its not true but there really isn't much you can do because you are dependant upon him for financial reasons, right? This must be very frustrating for you. Is it possible to get him into marriage counceling? If he won't go, I think that you should go by yourself. It can be very helpful. I wish you luck!
Truth..what a novel idea. One of which I have begged for in the last couple weeks. He just keeps swearing he can't remember because it was not important to him. Something to pass the time and get even with me for. I feel like that as long as he keeps all the details to himself and denies everything I have found and has been told to me that he is still trying to deceive me. Maybe in hopes of finishing the job he started??? Or maybe because the details are so bad that he thinks I couldn't deal with them. I have told him that no actual details/truth could be as bad what I have imagined. I have even came close to taking out a loan for the $600.00 that it would cost me to have him take a lie detectors test. One which he swears up and down he would pass. But then I'd be stuck paying back a loan I feel would probably put an end to our marriage. And not because of the affair, but because he is still trying to lie his way out of it. This whole ordeal has seemed to have gotten me into a downward spiral of obsessiveness, one which seems the more I try to climb out of the deeper I get pulled into. Today I am going to try to find a counselor but the area I live in is pretty remote and backwards. At least I hope it will give me something else to think about other than him and his lies.
Still desperate in Alabama,
Theresia
