Replies to '06/07 Moms' Biggest Mistakes'

 
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Scared

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sad
December 11, 2005, 2:02 pm PST

chronically ill, raising a child

Quote From: peanut570

Dr. Phil,  

  

The hardest part of being a single Mom for me has been the outside interference from my family.   My mother, and my siblings.  I came from an abusive family background, my childhood was a nightmare and my adult life has been as well.  And now, I have moved 300+ miles away from my abusive family and they are abusing me through my children.  To the point that it has caused my youngest son, now 13, very serious psychological issues.  What do I do in a situation such as that? 

  

And by the way, Dr. Phil - I watched your show yesterday.  In your opening dialogue on "Ask Dr. Phil and Robin" - you said something to the effect of 'what is with you people who write to Dr. Phil and then you're surprised when you get a call from our producers?  Do you not think we read our mail?'   

I'm going to put you to the test, my friend.  I've prepared a very detailed letter of the family abuse and the ordeal I am currently dealing with involving my children, and to be honest, I don't think that anyone except for you can possibly help me!  I think YOU are my ONLY hope.  I'll be sending my letter PRIORITY MAIL on Monday, Dec. 12 - it says on the envelope "Desperate to Save My Children."  And it's no exaggeration.  I'm asking you desperately for your help.  Do you really read your mail??? 

 I really sympathise with your daughter.  Some people just seem to have bad luck that never ends. 

I have ad a difficult time over the last 10 years.  I miscarried twins when my daughter was  1 year old.  this resulted in an autoimmune disease called Ankylosing Spondylitis... a form of arthritis that causes the spine to fuse on its own and it also affects many other joints in the body.  I changed my lifestyle to adapt to this, but 5 years later I had a pulmonary embolism and my arthritis just went down hill form there. I ended up in a wheelchair for any walking more that about 200 m. I went into a severe depression, started having panic attacks. Through all this I tried very hard for it not to affect my daughter.  Due to medication I slowly improved and am now able to do normal walking activities on most days.  Once I started to come out of this severe depression, I realised that my husband was having an affair.  He went back to his ex girlfriend of 15 years previously.  My daughter who had a great bond with her dad was devestated.  I am now in the process of a divorce ( a year down the line).  My ex is refusing to support me and has offered a nominal amount of maintenance  for my daughter.  I am now only Mom, a chronic illness, unsure income in the future and no job and no family in town.  How do I do the best for my little girl who is now 10.  I am really scared that I mess it up completely.   It is really scary to do this on your own, when you have a chronic illness.  Can you give me advice Dr Phil. 

 
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Happy

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hopeful
June 7, 2006, 7:08 am PDT

In the same boat

Quote From: peanut570

Dr. Phil,  

  

The hardest part of being a single Mom for me has been the outside interference from my family.   My mother, and my siblings.  I came from an abusive family background, my childhood was a nightmare and my adult life has been as well.  And now, I have moved 300+ miles away from my abusive family and they are abusing me through my children.  To the point that it has caused my youngest son, now 13, very serious psychological issues.  What do I do in a situation such as that? 

  

And by the way, Dr. Phil - I watched your show yesterday.  In your opening dialogue on "Ask Dr. Phil and Robin" - you said something to the effect of 'what is with you people who write to Dr. Phil and then you're surprised when you get a call from our producers?  Do you not think we read our mail?'   

I'm going to put you to the test, my friend.  I've prepared a very detailed letter of the family abuse and the ordeal I am currently dealing with involving my children, and to be honest, I don't think that anyone except for you can possibly help me!  I think YOU are my ONLY hope.  I'll be sending my letter PRIORITY MAIL on Monday, Dec. 12 - it says on the envelope "Desperate to Save My Children."  And it's no exaggeration.  I'm asking you desperately for your help.  Do you really read your mail??? 

FINALLY I have found someone with my same issues.  I to have moved away from a meddling family after a dragged out divorce.  I have 3 children ages 19, 16 and 13,  my ex-husband has turned my children against me making me out to be the bad guy for dissolving our marriage.   My family have chosen to be on his side for the sake of having their relationships with the children, or so they tell me this is why.  I have started a new life but i miss my children terribly.  I grew up in an alcoholic home and witness alot of abuse over the years.  I marriied an alcoholic and tried repreatedly to work at our differences but he likes who he is , so therefore self-help on his part hasn't happened.  He has involved our children to the enth degree in our divorce.  I am very worried about our 13 year old sons psychological well-being also.  My ex-husband and our son have the closest relationship out of the children.  He has used him as a pawn to get even with me leaving him.  I have been counselling since I left my ex 21/2 years ago and they tell me he will figure things out in time.  I guess I have hope that he will have me as a part of his life someday, but somedays my hope diminishes.  I still try to contact the kids weekly....my attempts often go unnoticed and this is very upsetting to me.  I know my marriage would have killed me literally, but not having my children as a part of my life is extremely hard also.  I wish family members would not meddle in my affairs but i realize these are very unhealthy people.  They have substance abuse problems and therefore we are not on the same wave-lengths.  I guess they think I'm the crazy one for getting out of the squirrel cage I lived in, I i feel they need help.  I guess my children can't grow up soon enough for me.  I hope when then get older they will understand my side of things.  For now all I have is hope!!!!!
 


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