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Replies to '08/11 Conned by a Con Artist'
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December 12, 2005, 8:20 pm PST
 Quote From: beautymark YOU are someone I would love to meet! LOL I couldn't agree more! It most DEFINATELY is a personal "choice" whether or not to utilize a dating service. I have used both YAHOO and MATCH.COM (among others) and have yet to have a "horrible" experience. Not to say that it couldn't happen ... but I put out there just what I'm looking for and the moment a guy starts appearing "too perfect", out come the feelers!! I play a game called "20 questions" and proceed to delve deep into his psyche. I'm a natural analyst, so this game puts me more in tune with the guy I'm talking to - and weeds out those who are BOGUS. It helps that I'm not a PUSHOVER or looking for a romp. It further helps that I'm not an enabler or settling for ANY man, just to make me feel better about myself. I love me and my life. I date and have a wonderful time!
I believe that self-confidence comes from within. You CHOOSE how others treat you. I've met my share of fruitcakes online, but it has gone no further than a chat, then specifically telling them that they aren't what I'm looking for. Sometimes it gets heated and egos are bruised, but BELIEVE ME, those guys are the ones who can't remember WHO they've talked to - they'll get over it. I've had the same guy I turned down, actually IM me - forgetting he had even spoken to me! LOL My point is: Not all MEN are like your EX's and not all WOMEN are like your EX's - nor are they ALL CON ARTISTS!! It's not only unfair to lump them all into the LOSER pile - it's unhealthy.
Why punish yourself the rest of your life for one lesson learned? I firmly believe that the lessons we go through in life teaches us how to treat others or allow ourselves to be treated. Why allow someone else to take away the fun you could be having - the life you could be enjoying? Me? I'm a competitive person - and I REFUSE TO LOSE A GAME I DON'T PARTICIPATE IN!! Don't play the game. CHOOSE not to. Sounds so simple, because it is.
Tell yourself why you DESERVE to be happy, to be treated well and to be loved. Look in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU!" every day - smile at what you see ... hold your head high ... say hello to a stranger ... you'd be surprised at how much good comes back to you! YOU DESERVE IT!! :) I did not seek out my Don Juan of Con he sought me out, he pretended to be the POW on my POW bracelet. I did not look for someone to complete me, or love me, in fact I wasn't looking for love. I just wanted a friend. Nothing more. I had been in an abusive relationship, and was not looking for love. He didn't hook me on money, or anything, he did say he had an education, and was a Doctor. I believed him, after all the man was very intelligent, knew how to talk about art, the philosophy of Socrates, the poetry of Shakespeare, and he was not the ordinary run of the mill man on the take. I told myself, that I wanted an intelligent man that was not intimidated by the fact that I had a degree. He wasn't intimidated by me, and he was 'in a wheelchair'. I did not need a man to complete me. I was complete as I was. I had a job, and raised my sons, and was getting a Master's. I did not need a man in my life. He was my friend and became something more. Was I wrong to trust? Perhaps. Just because some of us had low self-esteem doesn't mean that we are putting ourselves out there to be victimized! I refused to be victimized by everyone else that had not walked in our shoes. We are gaining our self respect back by fighting back, and I applaud these ladies for going on the television and telling so many their stories at the risk of ridicule. We treat others with love and trust and we got stomped all over on. I will never fully trust Yahoo.com or Match.com because my Don Juan of Con found plenty of victims on those sites. He had a list of 20 victims before he went to the woman that followed me. We are not conned because we are needy, plain and simple, we were conned because we were naive enough to believe and love someone.
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December 12, 2005, 10:15 pm PST
Quote From: beautymark YOU are someone I would love to meet! LOL I couldn't agree more! It most DEFINATELY is a personal "choice" whether or not to utilize a dating service. I have used both YAHOO and MATCH.COM (among others) and have yet to have a "horrible" experience. Not to say that it couldn't happen ... but I put out there just what I'm looking for and the moment a guy starts appearing "too perfect", out come the feelers!! I play a game called "20 questions" and proceed to delve deep into his psyche. I'm a natural analyst, so this game puts me more in tune with the guy I'm talking to - and weeds out those who are BOGUS. It helps that I'm not a PUSHOVER or looking for a romp. It further helps that I'm not an enabler or settling for ANY man, just to make me feel better about myself. I love me and my life. I date and have a wonderful time!
I believe that self-confidence comes from within. You CHOOSE how others treat you. I've met my share of fruitcakes online, but it has gone no further than a chat, then specifically telling them that they aren't what I'm looking for. Sometimes it gets heated and egos are bruised, but BELIEVE ME, those guys are the ones who can't remember WHO they've talked to - they'll get over it. I've had the same guy I turned down, actually IM me - forgetting he had even spoken to me! LOL My point is: Not all MEN are like your EX's and not all WOMEN are like your EX's - nor are they ALL CON ARTISTS!! It's not only unfair to lump them all into the LOSER pile - it's unhealthy.
Why punish yourself the rest of your life for one lesson learned? I firmly believe that the lessons we go through in life teaches us how to treat others or allow ourselves to be treated. Why allow someone else to take away the fun you could be having - the life you could be enjoying? Me? I'm a competitive person - and I REFUSE TO LOSE A GAME I DON'T PARTICIPATE IN!! Don't play the game. CHOOSE not to. Sounds so simple, because it is.
Tell yourself why you DESERVE to be happy, to be treated well and to be loved. Look in the mirror and say "I LOVE YOU!" every day - smile at what you see ... hold your head high ... say hello to a stranger ... you'd be surprised at how much good comes back to you! YOU DESERVE IT!! :) Back in 1997 I thought I had met a wonderful man, within 2yr he took me for all my savinging, ruined my credit and I have to file bankrupt and lost my home and car. In June of 1999 I came home to find all his stuff gone, at first I was worried about him then I caught on what happed. The first thing I did was take him off my insurance card for medication (he had a stomach problem and the meds cost a lot) now he had to pay full price to feel better. I started looking for clues of where he might be, I started with my phone bill and he was not that bright, he called some lady from my home phone. On 9-11 his new wife called me and asked why I had not gotten a divorced yet. I learned that only 3 days after leaving me he married her in KY. We got to talking and I told her I was the 7th wife he married and was taken for, she was nice enought to give me a copy of the marriage license. She learned about him but yet she was willing to stay with him. She could have filed charged of bigamy on him but did not. I did not feel sorry for her. Five month later I saw him with a new woman. I was with my 26yr old son and could not help myself and walked up to them and asked which number this wife was. His 12yr son was with them and just laughed and said "15". A week before my divorced was final I met a guy online and we hit it off. I told him upfront about my ex. This man was nice enough to help me pay a hugh bill just so I could keep my car. We have been dating for 5yr now and plan on getting married in Feb. 2006. I still get mad thinking of that jerk but I never let him ruin my life, I just was a lot more careful after that. I now deserve to be happy in my retirement (my new man is 7yr younger then me and still works). |
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