Replies to 'drug addiction'

 am writing for mere advice from someone who obviously sounds like they have lived through the other end of the barrell.  A quick background. My husband and I have been married for almost 5 years now. I am an aggressive person where he is very passive. Our problem lies within my mother in Law. Shortly after we met five years ago we discovered she was doing crack cocaine. We withdrew our 2 children at the time as well as ourselves from her life. My husband started to miss his mother, and really was disappointed that she would not take any initiative on seeking treatment and rebuilding a better healthier relationship with our family. I have known on several occasions we have been around her that she shows the signs of being high. I can not say anything, because I am just the wife and daughter in law. This past Christmas things sort of escaletd you could say. We wanted her to spend the night Christmas Eve, and wake up Christmas Day with our children. She insistently said she had to be at her daughters house by 10 am. **Background** her daughter/ his sister used to be heavy involved with gangs. She also was the one who introduced her mother to the drug life. Their mother took care of her grandson, because the mother never would. She would always be high on pot, or just plain did not want to take care of him. She is the type of person that would have a job, but would still take welfare from the government. So his mom HAD to get back to her daughters house. His sister called and said she was not coming Christmas Eve, because her son was sick---hurt and disgusted I said "whatever". His mother proceeded to bring a gallon bag of puke into my house. When my husband saw it and asked what it was, she replied with "name withheld" wanted to make sure we knew her son was sick. I said "whatever". It took me an hour and half to calm down. When I finally did I told her the next time she wanted to deliver a message she could do it verbally or not at all. She continuosly said "name with held" wanted to make sure we knew that is what she did not come. I told her I did not care of her reasoning...just do not do it again. Do not bring someones puke into my house for any reason. Either she could deliver a verbal message or none at all. Shortly after that we sat down to eat. My husband also had a stomach virus, and his mother said she was "so exhausted". I suggested the kids open the gifts and whoever needed to take a nap could. His mother slept through the whole thing. I told the kids that they needed to give their meme the present they got her. She told her husband you have to open it, because I am just way too tired. It was a calendar made through Kodak gallery of the kids pictures and I added personal quotes. Her comment was---I got another calendar. Again she fell asleep. That evening my daughter started to run 102.9 temp. I took her to the er to make sure it was not something serious. His mother left the house, but stayed in town. When we got back we were spreading Reindeer food in the front yard. After that we watched polar express and ate popcorn and hot chocolate. His mother laid on the floor with my oldest daughter, so my daughter got on the couch with my husband and I. Again his mom fell asleep. We put the kids to bed after the movie (about midnight). We started to put Santas together---while his mother is asleep in the middle of our living room. We went to bed at 3am Christmas morning with his mother still asleep. I slept with my oldest daughter, so we would not miss Surprised Santa faces. When I woke up at 7:30 she was gone, but left my front door open, her make up bag and sunglasses at my house. Everyone woke up at 8:45 that morning. My husband immediately jumped on the phone trying to call his mom. I told him she already left to go home...he said I want to give her the benefit of the doubt. Sure enough she went back home, so she could be at her daughters house by 10am. She claims she spent all day with us Christmas eve. She did not arrive untill a little after 1, and then fell asllep and stayed that way ALL day. I am mad,  I feel hurt and betrayed. My husband will not confront her---and if I say anything then I am blowing things out of perportion. I also have been diagnosed with OCD. That is often thrown in my face saying I am just being irrational. I need help dealing with this person. My husbands way is to just skirt  around and not say anything to her. I want to blast her, but I know I can't, it is not my place. This past weekend is evidence to me she is still using. Bringing vomit to my house on Christmas Eve---that in my opinion is irrational. And then sleeping through Christmas---that sounds like to me she is coming off of a good high. I cry at night and all through the day, because she is not there for our kids, and becasue I am the evil daughter in law. Please advise!!!!