Replies to 'Body Image & Sex Appeal'

My Dear Lady, 

I have been where you are, and I know what a scary place it is.  It's not even the fear of being alone - some relationships can be so much lonlier than being alone - It's actually more a fear of NOT being alone.  Am I right?  It's been so long since you've had real intimate contact with another, that you're not sure you're still capable of those feeelings, or of opening up to someone.  

You are very vulnerable right now, so be cautious about contact with men.  You may be so hungry for that contact that you end up getting involved in something too soon... and both you and the man involved have the potential to get hurt if you're in the wrong thing for the wrong reason.  Conversely, you may be so scared that you don't let anybody close... which is not the healthy way to live your life either.   

I know it's easy for someone else to say, but try not to even worry about it.  Just concentrate on rebuilding the other areas of your life.  As for love, you find the best things when you're NOT LOOKING.  And when a man comes into your life unsolicited and unexpectedly who makes you feel genuinely appreciated, believe me, you will still enjoy lovemaking just as much as you did before the years of deprivation and emotional damage.  The flood gates will open, and there will be healing passion, if you wait for the right man who will make it feel like the precious communion that it can be.  But if you go out looking for it right now, well... the kind of hunter that picks off a wounded bird is not usually anyone that you're likely to be able to respect.  Please keep to yourself and take the time to heal and rebuild first.