Replies to '12/20 Christmas Miracle'

CuddleyBear - In one sentence you empower yourself by saying that you are thinking about writing a book about your experience and in the very next sentence you  take all your power and strength away by making an  excuse  for not doing it by saying there is not enough time or paper to explain it all. Writing that book will be therapy for you and will undoubtably help someone else who is going thru the same or similiar experience. If it's too painful to share  the story as yourself perhaps you could create a fictional character that has had your life. Just start somewhere. Working on your story, enough if it never gets published, will be great therapy. for you - a reason to get up everyday. I don't know if you have children but if you do they will have a record of your life, a gift from you. I wish that I knew my mothers thoughts and feelings towrds the end of her life (not that you're at the end of yours!) I wish she had keep a journal or something. Because of that I have started one of my own. It's also sort of a history of our family that I will pass on to my children. I know you have a computer - if you can't afford the paper I'll send it to you, I promise! Missing work creates financial problems, I know from experience. I can't work at all right now - but I refuse to quit. I think keeping your mind and your hands busy is the key to maintaining a strong, winning attitude. When I can't sit at the pc anymore I make some tea, take my cat and my knitting, light a fragranced  candle, turn on the T.V or some music and knit scarfs, hats or mittens for the food pantry in our community. ( Most yarn is donated) It has been proven that using both your hands in an activity  such as knitting or crocheting increases your seritonin level which greatly helps in the treatment of depression. You wouln't be human if you weren't depressed. You have to make yourself happy emotionally and mentally in order to get well physically. Don't give your illness all that power...... Gabrielle