Replies to 'What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?'

Sometimes you have to dig pretty deep if the obvious answer isn't that you prefer the instant gratification of eating as opposed to the lifelong gratification of mobility, health, and contentment. I needed to work through SELF MATTERS to find mine.
I gained weight after I was married to my current husband. On the surface I thought my payoff was simply that I had been molested as a child, but it was deeper than that. I didn't miss the attention from men, and although my husband still loved me, he was not happy that I was not happy. And I wasn't. I hated being fat, everything hurt, I always detested the way I looked. You know the drill. At the very bottom of it all though, was a fear that if I lost weight and became desirable again, I would cheat on my husband. I know it sounds nuts, and it was! If I wouldn't cheat on him at 200lbs, why would I cheat at 140lbs? It was because I used to have such a bad opinion of myself, I would let others use me. It took some serious soul searching to discover this, but that was the payoff: if I stayed fat, I wouldn't cause the end of my marriage. It was liberating, and I gave myself permission to become thin.
Hope this helps.

For me, it was me not dealing with my life by bringing closure to long time events.  Everytime I read Weight loss Solutions, I kept finding myself thinking about everything but losing weight so I decided what the heck and read Self Matters to help me to learn how to catch my tapes & scripts.  It only took me about a year & half to finally be able to re-read the book and be able to keep my mind on my weight loss thoughts.  I figured that if I've been yo-yoing for years and years, what was wrong with just spending the time to do it Dr. Phil's way.   

  

It was the best decision I've ever made.  If I never lose another pound, I've finally found peace of mind.  I've bought closure to the 2 - 1999 events that were in still running amok in my life last year.  Now, I've learned to bring closure immediately or as soon as I can.  It's just so nice to finally be able to hear me say nice things about myself to me and know they are the truth. 

  

What is hard for me now, is learning to be nice to myself if I fall off the wagon or not lose the weight I wanted to lose cause I'm at a plateau or I see the inches lost and not the weight.  But I finally figured out that I'm being given the opportunity to learn how to be nice to me. 

  

It takes patience and it takes being kind to yourself and dumping the guilt trip we put ourselves on.