Replies to 'Spanking: Useful or Cruel?'

a swat on the bottom is not abuse, leaving bruises and such is, so I am assuming that you were abused as a child as it is not against the law to "spank", of course there are those who will go by their own aganda but the real abusers seem to get by with it, believe me, I know. I was abused as a child and it sure the heck wasn't a pat on the bottom, and guess what, NOTHING was done about it and this was happening in a "trusted", "well to do" foster home and I spent 10 years of my childhood in this home. Don't talk to me about how "great" the sysytem is. It sucks and this happened over 30 years ago and I know several families that the system has screwed over because of "personal agendas". One was about a couple of of scratches which happened at the sitters and guess who got blamed and their kids taken away, it sure the heck wasn't the sitter and nothing was asked about the dog what so ever. I worked for 14 years working in the inner city and you would be surprised what REAL abuse really is. There are many children ABUSED in this society who fall through the cracks and your concerned over a parent who gives their child a swat on the bottom. Big difference between that and abuse. I know many children who are spanked and they are perfectly fine in all aspects of their lives and vice versa but I also know those who have never had a swat ont he bottom and they have issues as well as vice versa. Abuse is not a matter of whether a child is spanked or not, it is a matter of how the parent treats their children. I personally would have been better off without the state getting involved, I was never ever touched by my real parents, a littel neglected but never touched in any way, shape or form, not even a swat ont he bottom, and I was taken away and put in a worse situation and I know that people were awasre of it becasue I over heard conversations. Children services is not the greatest organization out there, yes they have ahelped a few families but over all, they need much much more work and they have a ways to go. Time to go after the REAL abusers, not just becasuse they are spankers. I have a friend whi is a social worker and though she likes her job most of the time, she has seen many flaws in it and when she does, she documents and sends it to who ever, maybe others in that system should start taking a stand and help make the system set priorities and get out there and listen to the complaints, check into them and don't base the situation on opunions and agendas but on what is "REALLY" going on in the home. I personally am tired of hearing about dead children becasue the system didn't listen to a complaint but then when I see innocent parents get screwed over, that makes me angry as well. Any way, ther is my piece about our system Yes, there are good workers in the system just liket here are goodt eachers in the school system but it doesn't mean it isn't flawed and what's the gaurentee that one is going to get the good one, false accusations and found guilty can happen to any one becasue that is how our system works and in the process, there are children getting hurt and dying because of the real thing. so, especially as good loving parents, we all need to be careful on how we lable other parents and not accuse just becasue we don't agree with a technique, I know good parents who spank as well as who don't and they are all well, developed, functioning families. I know a family who used to leave their littel ones, (still in diapers) locked up in their room all day, they would leave the door opened but there was a gate up and they couldn't get out, the only times they were out is when they were eating and going laces, very rare did I ever see those kids out playing, that is abuse! and they never once spanked. This family is all split up now as it was/is a very disfunctional home and they are now fighting over the kids which neither one of them have custody as the kids are staying woth two sets of grandparents, I will not go into details but children services were called before the next two were born while the two older were littel and nothing was done about it and now there are four innocent children being screwed over. Now, what a wonderful system we have! Believe me, I know what abuse is and I for one will not cover it up and I will report any that I know of and again, a swat on the bottom has nothing to do with it.