Replies to 'Childhood Sexual Abuse Support'

Didn't mean to upset anyone.  Please forgive me if in anyway I have offended or upset any of you. I think grieving the family that you would like to have had really hits the nail on the head. It is hard to be around toxic people and I seem to catch it from all sides. To be fair my mother does try I guess in her own way but she will never discuss this or come to terms with any of this stuff.  As far as what the inlaws think... I believe that beyond being judged as worthless, rejected without cause... I have grieved that I will not have that loving family relationship I had longed for. It is time to move on and put that away. Maby my expectations of family are not realistic. Maby I'll revamp that. So for now I hold tight to what I do have. I am grateful for loving children and the grace of God. When you have been kicked around for some reason it does seem to draw people who lash out abuse and hurt. If there is a bully in the crowd they will find you everytime But you know what ? I 've had enough of it and I am looking for ways to find empowerment. Dr Phil has said that you teach people how to treat you and if  you allow such treatment it is if you silently agree? ( at least that is what I think he means) I have been thinking this over and tetting it sink in. This means that I have the power to change things. This means I can find a way. I don't just have to sit here and take it. Today I'll be visiting at the MN laws home and I dread it. I know I'll get picked apart. I will use this tactic to see if it works. I'll have her clarify questionable  comment s and put it back on her in  a non threatening manner. This will do 2 things. It will clarify for me if she means what I think or if I'm being defensive--clear communication. This will make her own what she says.  I will glue myself to  my hubby because she will not attack in front of him but if she does try , we'll see how this pans out. If all else fails. We leave. I'm not looking for a show down.  What have ya'll done to build yoursleves up? What has worked or not worked why? What are some tactics you use to deal w people you cannot disassociate from and have to deal with? Due to the severe abuse I have endured, I have not learned how to deal with so many things, rejection being the hardest.  How do you deal with yourself when you have a tough day or see something that triggers a memory you'd rather forget?