Replies to 'What's Your Payoff for Being Overweight?'

Quote From: ritehere

Sometimes you have to dig pretty deep if the obvious answer isn't that you prefer the instant gratification of eating as opposed to the lifelong gratification of mobility, health, and contentment. I needed to work through SELF MATTERS to find mine.
I gained weight after I was married to my current husband. On the surface I thought my payoff was simply that I had been molested as a child, but it was deeper than that. I didn't miss the attention from men, and although my husband still loved me, he was not happy that I was not happy. And I wasn't. I hated being fat, everything hurt, I always detested the way I looked. You know the drill. At the very bottom of it all though, was a fear that if I lost weight and became desirable again, I would cheat on my husband. I know it sounds nuts, and it was! If I wouldn't cheat on him at 200lbs, why would I cheat at 140lbs? It was because I used to have such a bad opinion of myself, I would let others use me. It took some serious soul searching to discover this, but that was the payoff: if I stayed fat, I wouldn't cause the end of my marriage. It was liberating, and I gave myself permission to become thin.
Hope this helps.