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Replies to 'Differing Sex Drives'
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August 8, 2005, 2:05 pm PDT
 Quote From: angelsix Hi,
I am not sure if this is the correct place to post this but it is sex related so I'll give it a shot.
My current boyfriend is only 26 and has slept with over 100 people, men and women.
I am rather old fashioned when it comes to numbers and have only slept with people I loved.
It is an emotional experience almost more than a physical one for me. I have trouble swallowing his numbers and how he could have so much casual sex.
Our sex life is good, we do almost match drive wise and are both adventurous but I find myself falling short sometimes (he will say things like he is happiest having sex with me and that I am the best "on the whole" lover he has had and that he appreciates how I care and try but that he has had better "technical" sexual experiences with others). Of course I won't be technically as good right away as I don't spread it around to get the experience.
I hate how he has been with so many people. I sort of feel like it is an expression of love and that he has shared it with so many kinds of ruins the meaning between us. I guess that I feel its not special to us and that I could be anyone. To add to it, he has told people he has loved them "in the heat of the moment" or because "he was horny". That ruins that for me too. How can I tell I am special and that he truly does love me?
He explained that with his encounters that was really no kissing and that it is not romantic or intimate but basicaly two people relieving themselves sexually.
Most other aspects of our relationship are great. He is faithful to me and even gave up a life he was happy with to move so we could be together. He said that this is how I should be able to tell that he loves me. That he is with me now and not them. This is the only issue that causes fights between us but I do feel it is a huge one.
Do I get over this, am I being silly for caring so much about the past or do I take this as a bad pattern in his life and lose a guy that since we have been together has been wonderful?
Can people change as they get older? I think you told me what I was already thinking. That even though it is the only thing we fight about, that it is too huge of an issue. I just don't think I can bend on a moral issue like that - what would we teach our kids right if we can't agree on what is appropriate behaviour?
I just feel kind of sad for possibly ending it as he is great in so many other ways (like giving up his job, friends etc to move to be with me as I couldn't move due to finances, is always with me and if I don't go - he won't go type thing).
He tells me he is sorry for his past but that it is his past and has no bearing on what he wants his future to be. He wants to settle down and start to have a real life and that he wants it to be with me.
I feel sad but I will think on it some more.
We have both been tested, together recently and him throughout his life (he was atleast responsible on that end). |
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