Quote From: alyssa_Ive nevr said this to anyone before and its the exact opposite f being afraid but i had no idea where to post this... Instead of me being afraid i am always thinking i want things to happen. I know it sounds really sick and desterbing but i always think about wanting me to die, or my mom, or my dad, or any of my friends or family. Or getting really sick. Ive been through a lot and almost died, i dont know why i always think such bad thoughts. But i do and it really scares me, i dont knoe if its because my whole life has always been abgout people being sick and dying. But my family has a lot of mental issues, for example my uncle has been in his room since he was 21 years old because someone said he had a big nose one day. Ive never seen him in my life and im 15 years old, he doesnt work, he only lets me mom go into his room. I dont understand it. I dont know if its because of genetics or if im just stupid. I dont get it, ive never had anyone to tlk to my parents work everyday till late and then come homemanbd watch tv. I see my parents maybe 5 minutes a dasy if im lucky,,i cant get rid of these terible thoughts, and am to afraid to tell ayone i know. IO would bnever hurt ayone the only person i ever hurt is myself, physically, ive cut and done drugs like coke and extacy just to hurt myself, i dont understand y ill be happy one minute and so upset nf cry for days the next. Does anybody have any idea? im so confused and have nobody, my family all moved away,and only have my mom and dad and my sister and nephew. I love my family but sometimes i jsut dont care.
what i'm going to suggest is you get your butt to a good book store and look for and BUY the book (workbook) called " feeling good " promise yourself that you WILL do this for YOU !!!!! this book and the contents there-in saved my daughters life!!!! so YOU GO AND BUY THIS BOOK, BECAUSE YOU ARE WORTH IT !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
