Quote From: annanutMy brother isn't really a teen anymore (he's twenty), but he sure acts like one. He wakes up at noon at the earliest, if my mother's been hassling him for at least an hour to get up. He basically goes straight to the computer and plays his favorite internet game all day long. If he gets hungry after having eaten breakfast, he'll raid the fridge upstairs, often eating food my mother made for dinner, and saying 'oh well' when she tells him it was for everyone. He takes a shower about half an hour before dinner if someone makes him; sometimes he refuses to shower until after b/c his game was 'important'. If my mother asks his to bring anything up from downstairs, he screams at her that he's busy, and only brings it up wayyyy later. He's started University, but his grades are not as good as they could be b/c he does assignments at the last minute since all his time is taken up playing the game. He's rude and self-centered (which he may have learned from our father, who watches tv all day and refuses to plan and make a single dinner around the house, won't buy food unless it's intended soley for him, and generally pays attention to no one). I think that my parents should set guidlines for him, like how long he can use the internet everyday, what time he has to be up by, what time he has to go to bed by (he stays up 'till five talking so loud on ventrilo server he kept me up for months before they made im change rooms - he was underneath me before), what he has to do around the house, at least wash himself or bring up his own dirty dishes. Make him eat dinner with the family instead of letting him take his plate downstairs so he can continue playing. But my mother says he too old and she can't force anyone to do anything anyway. I say, it's still your house, you pay food and school and internet and EVERYTHING, so you decide house rules. He should be considerate or get kicked out. I just want to know what other people's opinions are. I just don't think he's being done any favor when they let him live like this, with no motivation and no concern for other people.
At twenty I have to think your window for setting behavior expectations has already closed. These are the kinds of things you need to establish prior to adulthood. You have given your opinion and now it really is in your parents hands. This of course is a lesson for you when you have your children. I have a son who is eighteen and is starting college in the fall. He is working almost full time and expects to have reached an age where he sets his own schedule. We have to occassionally have to give him a deadline for certain things in order to get them done. There is something about that age that requires they learn some of these things on their own. I think your father is the model that your brother is using. The ball is in your parent's court you need to let them handle this.
