Replies to 'Is This Normal?'

I am currently in a similiar situation. I have been going out with this guy for two years. 

He was romantic, loving, caring, outgoing, spontaneous, and incredible in bed. My friends were very impressed by the way he seemed so interested in me and attentive. 

Then, one day, his attitude changed. All he does is sit on the couch and watch TV. He doesn't want to go anywhere. He says he isn't a sociable person. He doesn't want to go out with me and my friends. I told him I am sick of sitting at home doing nothing. He says go ahead, go out and have fun with your friends, go out without me.  

The sex was good for about eight months, then absolutely nothing for about three months! And the sex hasn't been the same since! No foreplay - he says he used to do that in the beginning but it's too much work - he says you know how much work that is? Sometimes he says I am too clingy if I try to get sex. 

His idea of turning me on (when that does happen - which is about once a month) is getting naked, lying on the  bed, starting to touch himself, and then he expects me to finish arousing him and hop on top! He doesn't even kiss me or anything!  

He even says he's too tired. Is it me - is it an excuse? The relationship has really gone down hill. I am starting to look else where. He's not the same guy I met. I also can't even imagine marrying him - the sex is horrible.  

I have tried to talk to him about it. He sometimes says he's too tired. Other times, that foreplay is too much work. Sometimes he says he gets me aroused by his organ. I told him I need foreplay. 

When he just lies there and expects me to arouse him now, I get angry. I ask him why he doesn't give me any foreplay. He says he doesn't know how to arouse me. He sure did in the beginning of the relationship! What could be really going on here? He won't even touch me! All he does is touch himself and expect me to touch him and that's it. He was great in the beginning.  

He also said why don't I give him more foreplay and he's tired of always initiating and that he wants me to initiate. But, when I do, I either end up giving him oral with nothing in return, or, I arouse him and he expects me to jump on top. No kissing nothing. 

All I want is some intimacy, some romance. A foot rub. A back rub. A hot bath with candles. All I want is to be touched! Kissed! What happened? 

I am going to end up leaving him if things don't change. 

I go out without him because all he wants to do is sit around the house and watch TV. I go to the movies alone, go out with friends without him. He won't even go to the movie rental place with me. He wants me to go, pick the movie, and then he falls asleep watching it. We don't have meaningful conversations because all he does is come home, sit in front of the TV. I can't even talk to him because all he ever does is sleep or watch TV!!!! 

One day his cat went missing for a day and a half. I realized I take care of his cat and spend more time with his cat, and that his cat is actually filling a void that I don't get from him - companionship! 

I feel alone even though I am in a so called 'relationship'. He didn't buy me anything for my birthday or Valentine's Day. Christmas was only because he knew if he didn't he'd really dissappoint me for all the other times he didn't get me anything. 

I told him how I feel. He said if it's that bad then break up with me. 

He's right - I should. But it's so hard. 

Could it be that that is what he wants? Is he trying to get me to break up with him or is he depressed? 

I am starting to look - on line and when I go out. 

If I met someone else, I think he would be out of the picture. 

The trouble is, I thought I met MR. Right - Mr. Incredible when I met him. Now, I don't trust myself anymore - my judgement. I don't trust men anymore. I am afraid they will all just end up dissappointing me after I fall in love with them because they were being something they are not, and then the true colors show later. I thought I knew this guy. I am scared of making the same mistakes again. 

I want to get married. I am 33. I don't have much time to waste. He told me he wanted kids and marriage when we first met. Now, all of a sudden he doesn't want kids and he is afraid to get married because his parents divorced when he was young. 

I really just want to be happy in a relationship and find a genuine guy who won't lie to me. 

I want trust and intimacy.  

I am so scared because this seems to be a pattern. I've had similiar experiences before - they seem great then turn into something else. 

This time, I was really fooled. He seemed terrific. I am still starting to realize he was a fake.  

How do you know you met the right guy and he isn't going to turn into a frog later? 

HELP!