Replies to 'Ending Toxic Friendships'

I had a friendship of almost 10 years with a woman who was incredibly funny and fun to be with. We shared so many interests and our sons were only a few days apart in age. There were so many reasons to admire her but she was/is an incredibly self absorbed and high maintenance person.  

I spent years trying to only see the good parts of this friendship and ignoring the toxic parts but after a while, it became impossible to see the way the toxic parts were effecting me and my family. I'm a bit naive about some things so it took me a long time to understand that she was a prescription medication abuser as well as an alcoholic. I tried to help her but her downward spiral continued over several years until it became hard to hold on.  

I began seeing the differences in us and stopped being able to see any common goals or morals. She lied so easily, she was as vocally happily married as I am but I found out she had an affair which really goes against my morality but suddenly, as her friend, I was put in the position of knowing about it.  

Her husband also had affairs so their marriage broke up and she made herself the priority instead of their son. Her self medication got worse and she lost site of her role as a parent. I realized I was spending hours on the phone with her trying to get through to her, trying to find the good person I used to know but finally, she broke the camel's back and I had to tell her I could no longer be her friend. 

I miss the woman I used to know but every day of the past 6 months has been a relief and the past month or so, I stopped feeling guilty about having "deserted" her and began to enjoy my life without all the conflict in it.  

I'm a reasonably intelligent person who never would have entered into a friendship like this one but it was the slow devolution of it that held me so tight. I like who I am much better without her in my life and I can't believe how much of my day was spent holding her hand or talking through her problems.