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August 8, 2005, 11:34 pm PDT
Spanking: Useful or Cruel?
Quote From: kdabamThere is a difference between children who are out of control due to lack of discipline (this is when nothing is done because it is easier to let them get their way) and children who are out of control due to a disorder. You are lucky that your discipline techniques work on your children. Some children need much more intense discipline styles and it can be exhausting and stressful. This mom needs to work ten times harder than you do to maintain control. She is out there asking for help and not just letting the child get away with it. And certainley not making excuses for the child.You need to educate your self on special needs children before saying that this parent's child is out of control due to being wishy washy. (or that is what it seems like you are trying to say with out actually saying it) Talk about being disrespectful. Sounds like you lack confidence in your parenting style and let others determine what kind of parent you are. Just look at your children you can see what you are doing is working. I am a parent too and work very hard to be constistent with my disciplining and in teaching my son to be respectful to others. You are right we all want what is best for our children. So don't rush to judgement before you know the whole story. I'm sure you would want someone to have compassion for you if you were asking for help. I didn't mean to offend here as that is never my intent on these boards and as far as my parenting style, I am the best parent in the whole wide world for my children and I am quite confident, no regrets and doubts here on my side. I was only expressing my view on what wishy washy parent was as some one else (dont remember who and really don't care at this point) was basically referring to spankers as wishy washy (at least that is how I understood it) I was sticking up for spankers. and for those who do not abuse their kids and actually discipline them are not wishy washy. And yes, I do know some paretns who use the disorder as an excuse for not disciplining and it is not an excuse. My 4 1/2 year old has a disorder (which I do not discuss on these boards too much) and it sort of affects her appearance (which by the way happens when there are changes in her life and when she is over stimulated and she is gradually outgrowing it) but we did not use this thing as an excuse. in her case, we still involved her in activities and didn't change our life styles, we would talk to her a head of time and always let her know what is going on and if there are changes, we prepare her for it. positive reinforcement is what we did. Now, don't have a hissy fit, I know it is different and I did not say ALL parents use it as an excuse but it does happen a lot. And in all honesty, I really do not give a hoot what other people think about me and my parenting becasue I am a darn good parent and very proud of the way I am raising my children. And it shows in them, me and their daddy. And I have asked for help with my daughter, some I listened to, others I ignored which is an option on these boards and I honestly didn't mean to offend, I was only defining what I felt a wishy washy parent was. I think the mistake I made was to post my message under "reply with quote" which is a habit since I do it often I guess. My mistake on that part but I stick by what I posted, and I just want to express one more time, it is not my intent to offend others, just not my style and remember we are reading words and they can be interpretted in different ways.
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