Replies to 'Cheated On'

 If it were me...I would help him understand his "confused" feeling by kicking him out the door!  If you were his "true love" he wouldn't have cheated on you, and from what you're saying, he is about to do it again by going to see her.  Don't feel like you can't let him go...you might be alot happier without having to wander if he's being true to you.  And if he ever feels confused again does that give him the right to confide in another woman?? He could've confided in a man just as easily as a woman and not have risked getting involved.  He should've talked to you and not ran off to a stranger to discuss the problems in your relationship.  He should've been there for you through your trials and not added to the list.  I am a true believer in that if a person strays once they will do it again if the situation introduces itself ( and it sounds like it did when he went to see her) I wish you the best of luck and I hope you do what you find to be the best thing for you!!! And maybe being forced out of your job was just  another window being opened for better things. :)     God Bless!

  It is your choice to allow it or not. I wouldn't allow it.

 

 

   Why hasn't your relationship developed into a more permanent situation?

 

  The " love of my life " cheated on me also, we were married 18 years and had 8 children together. He cheated, that doesn't mean he isn't the love of my life and vice-versa. Happyily married people can enter into affairs, just as unhappyily married people can. You aren't married though and now it doesn't sound like your boyfriend is very commited to you. What is he flying out to do exactly? He is weighing his options and hoping to end up with both women?

 

  It is your life, decide how you want to live it and do it. If you want a commited monogamous relationship tell him. If he doesn't want the same thing then YOU have a decision to make.

Most of us never planned to be here in any order, but it is a good place for support.  It has been my salvation.

You say you have been in a committed relationship for years.  Well, you are half right.  You have, he hasn't.  And I think anyone who bails on a SO/spouse who is sick/pregnant/depressed (you fill in the blank) is scum.  He took the easy way out and it had nothing to do with his fear of talking to you or causing you pain.  Always amazes me that the cheater cannot talk to someone they have been intimate with, but blabs all of their personal business to a stranger.  DUH

Resolution could have been obtained through a phone call (with you on the other line, unknown to her) or more effectively through cutting off all contact.  THAT speaks volumns. You can be pretty sure he is telling her a different story to what he is telling you.  In my book, if he got on that flight he is history.  I suspect this is a classic case of middle-age stupid on his part.  Sometimes they want out, but want you to do the deed so they don't look so bad.

 

If you can find the archives for this site, go back and read.  The very best advice I can give you is to listen to that little voice in your gut, not your heart.  Do not hang on due to fear or habit.

And kudos to you for the meds and therapy.  You are stronger than you think.

how long have you been with this man? 

how are you both doing now?