Replies to '01/05 "Am I Cursed?"'

Quote From: charlie75

 I'm really surprised to all of the feed back I am receiving and so quickly.  This thread is so ambushed with so many people's thoughts and emotions, I never imagined my post would be noted and touch some people enough to reply.  Thank you.

I am a born again Christian.  I'm sure more than just yourself is wondering about that.  I have a very sincere relationship with the Lord and am not ashamed of it.  I do know how to pray and am extremely aware of spiritual warfare and the false seduction of it.

I grew up in an overly religious home that borderlined cultish activities.  The church that we were attending as a family when I was young and was raped, was a church that was full of manipulations of scripture and a church that had leaders who wanted to press on any accountability.  Very disturbing. 

I have been to many churches since, but never on a regular basis since.  Your senses on me were right about it being a challenge for me to be vulnerable to another body of christ.  I spend most of my faith by keeping it fairly personal.  My own studies, songs of praise and worship, and private prayer.  I have not forsaken my Father throughout my let downs.  I am fully aware that people come with flaws (sin) and in no way was it God's wish for any of those things to take place in his church.

Churches were hard to stick with my whole life.  My mother (errr.... mother spirit of Jezebel) has had her hand in every church and our family moved from one to the next.  My mom always got in cahoots with the pastor and his family, then the elders, then got herself onto the board or on some prestigeous level in her head, then she would tear them down from the inside.  The churches would suffer by what my mother would stir up and what curruption she would reveal to the congragation and move onto the next church.  Interesting way to find Jesus, but I did.  I just don't know how to trust other people in my beliefs.  I feel very secure when it is just God and I.

I will keep a heads up for Dr. Laura's book.  She's a funny cookie, I like!  Thank you for your input.

As for moving onward into the future, I think this is where some of the readers are misunderstanding out of normal ignorance.  Narcissim is very hard to escape.  Think of it like a person who is a conartist, lier, stalker that follows your life, will even bring in the court system to get what they want (like grandparent rights to my children), etc, etc.   It is an ongoing battle to move forward.  Forward usually means, just another day battling the influences of Jezebel.  It is way too hard to explain in a single post.

check out the sight I gave to bible guy.... forget his handle, lol.
Char