Replies to '01/06 No More Excuses With Star Jones'

I can emphathize with you.  Sometimes it's as if nothing goes right.  And then the last thing you want is to be preached to by someone who appears to have it all.  I turned the show off about half way through.   

  

Star has enough money to buy herself all that "happiness" that eludes some of us. 

  

I have struggled with my weight for years.  I've lost and gain back with interest 70 lbs., then 80 lb.s, and now that I'm fatter than ever in my life, I feel it's no use trying any more.  I more times I struggle to take the weight off, the fatter I get in the end when as soon as I eat with friends again and try to have a "normal" life whatever that is, I tell people I can't eat like them and they don't believe me and I'm a cow again.  I'm so out of control now that I feel it's no use trying any more.  And that makes me depressed. 

  

I'm sorry I can't make you feel better, but you are not alone.  And I am very sorry for your recent loss. 

  

A stranger who cares 

Life beats you down, there's no doubt about it.  And when it beats us after we're already down, it's hard to want to get back up.  Always remember that most of us start with nothing but slowly make a life for ourselves.   Try not to dwell on the things that have beat you down and just concentrate on doing WHAT YOU CAN every day.  A friend of mine once made me do this to get me going again.  Just start with getting yourself out of bed even if there's nowhere you want to go or nothing you want to do.   Even if all you intend to do is get right back in bed or wherever, get up at a certain time, shower and dress and do makeup and get yourself looking your best.  Start with that.  If family and/or old friends are part of the problem, break away and start over with new friends.  Even if you have no money, get out and go for a walk and get some exercise, spend time with pets if you have them, go to the park.  If you have money, go to a movie and escape for awhile.  One thing that helped me the  most when I was down and hating everyone is I did volunteer work just one time a week.  I hated people at the time but still loved animals, so I worked at the zoo.  It really helped.  It was quiet peaceful work around beauty and gave me a little joy.  And it also helped my feelings of low self-worth by giving me some tidbits of news to tell family, friends, and strangers.  Please take my advice on this one.  I don't advise doing a charity which will keep you mired in whatever your problems are, necessarily, but one which will allow you to escape from them and help others.  It really is very fulfilling and you meet a very nice class of people doing volunteer work.  Please if you do nothing else, do that for yourself.  What have you got to lose?

I know exactly how you feel!  Although I haven't lost my partner yet to suicide, it's bound to happen.  I lost him to drugs.  Our lives have totally fallen apart.  It's been going on for years and I do not have the emotional, physical or spiritual strenth to move on.   I have tried to reach out for help and have also only run into brick walls.  I am unemployed, and there is no way I could work a full time job.  I suffer from Chronic Fatigue syndrome, fibromyalgia and of course depression and on & on.  So, I have no health insurance, no money and no where to go.  I don't even have any friends left.  I don't even want to be around anyone.   I have read so many self-help books, health books, spiritual books, you name it -- I've probably read it, but I'm still totally stuck. I've writted to Dr. Phil and Oprah and I've prayed a lot too.  There seems to be no where left to turn--except ending it.  I'm truly sorry for your loss.  I have also lost a husband and both my parents many years ago.  I was devasted.  I didn't think I could go on. I know that when someone very close to you dies, it seems like the pain will never end.  I can tell you that it does though.  It just takes time, and when your in the pain -- I know it's hard to hear that.  So in your case, please hold on!  It truly will get better.  Someone does care! 

I too know what it's like to be just kicked and kicked again and have no time to recover.  I've had alot of "bad luck" in my life.  Sometimes I'm just on autopilot to make it through my day, because if I thought of all the weight of my situation I'd go insane. 

  

My family just lost our place to live because of my roommate.  I went to every agency I could think of but they are overwhelmed due to still helping people affected by the hurricane.  The shelters are completely full right now.  Lucky for us we found a really cheap motel room, at $700 a month.  I was really worried that we were going to end up sleeping in the park, or worse.  I was just grateful that I had some kind of money to get a room somewhere.  My husband and I aren't too afraid of having to deal with struggles, but I hate having to make my teenagers go through this.  I work two jobs just to come out in the negative every month.  I feel like I'm making reverse progress.  I have great intentions but it's always something unexpected.   

  

I have extreme anxiety about my situation, afraid that one thing will happen and I will end up losing what little I have left, but I know that if I just let that feeling pass I'll be okay. 

  

I know the frustration of really just needing a hand up and no one will come to your rescue.  I mean, you're willing to do the work but the opportunity just won't arive!  Just hang in there, okay?