Replies to '03/23 Nasty Custody Battles'

Pandas,  

I admire you! In my case, I am the mother (the ex)  with 2 kids. My ex and his wife live out of state, but they are regularly involved in the kids lives. And the one thing I have tried to do is always be friendly with their stepmom. Initially, it was just because I did not want her to take any resentment she may have of me out on the kids. And then, when I saw how relaxed and happy it made the kids to see us getting along, it just became natural. We joke, we laugh, we eat out together, we sit together at the kids sporting events, we have even been thrift store shopping and prom dress shopping together! I buy cards and gifts for the kids to give her for special events. Once when there was a problem with one of the kids, the four of us (me, ex, stepmom and child) sat down and talked it out as a single family unit.  Just this past week, when I met their stepmom to exchange the kids after a week long break, I spontaneously gave her a big hug and said "Happy New Year" as I would with any other friend, without even thinking twice about it.  She has no biological children of her own, but I truly appreciate the love and devotion she has shown my kids.  

So, since Pandas spoke representing the stepmoms, I'm speaking to represent the exes (biological moms). Put your children FIRST, ahead of any hate, bitterness, resentment, whatever you may feel. Your children are innocent victims and they deserve parents and step parents who are looking out for their best interest!! 

Robyn