Replies to '01/05 "Am I Cursed?"'
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January 8, 2006, 10:40 pm PST
 Quote From: linda254 Charlie, I am the one whose the mother is paranoid schizophrenic. I used to be hurt and embarrassed by mother, but living 400 miles away helps me find other things about which to think. When your children are older they will understand how cruel she is and not want to be around her. I know that is how my nieces and nephews are with my mother. My sister and I were that way with her mother (a mean one she was, she didn't speak English so we don't know what she would say to other people). Just make sure they have good experience with your mother and tell you if anything bad is said or happens (evidence). As for the daycare, you can report any abuse to social services. Social Services have to look into any abuse report. Just hope that she doesn't report you for abuse first. You talk about your dad. Mine died in 1989. God took him because God knew my dad had taken enough crap. Dad was really a good, friendly person. There are 4 kids in my family and when I was a kid, my parents never slept in the same bed. Dad slept in the living room. I was in shock when I learned from where babies came. She acts as if we were are immaculately conceived. My dad never divorced (I asked him why he never divorced her--she was always mean to him and fought with him.) because he would lose everything for which he worked. Dad spent most of his free time playing cards with his buddies; he called it his second income. He never knew that she beat my sister and I senselessly--we never told him. She was pregnant with my sister when they married. Now that he is dead, she has been spending his money wrecklessly and always says mean things about him. Do whatever you can to have a life separate from hers. If that means getting a new phone number, do it. I have a cell phone and have to pay for incoming calls--that is my excuse not to get phone calls from her. I have told her that I have to pay for incoming calls, so she doesn't call me. When I call her, she starts to whine about how sick she is, so I cut it short, by telling her I don't have much time to talk. I am sure that most people don't think your mother is an honest person. Liars usually get caught lying and I'll bet most people feel sorry for you--although that is not good either. Those people just don't want to get involved. I am worried about you because I think you are feeling sorry for yourself. You have to get away from her negativity. You are not the only person with a wacky mother, even though you think you are. You can email me at l_m_dobrin@hotmail.com or think about coming for a visit to the big city. Looking forward to traveling or doing something always cheers me. I look forward to hearing from a cheery charlie. Let me know. I never really posed the question until I got to the end of your post to me. Hmmm... At first I thought that I would just ask anyone on the boards how they felt about the uncanny similairities between the Jezebel Spirit and Narcissm, but so much more has developed from that. Through simply trying to clarify some things, it seems that I have come off as sulking or just wanting to vent my story. I didn't think that I was, but now I'm wondering how honest I'm being with myself. I don't want to be that person that I've portrayed because really I am doing pretty good. Posts are difficult to convey mood and I suppose I have left out clarifying mine. I admit that I am in a transitional phase where I am taking my first giant step away from my Mother and her web, but talking about it on forums, perhaps isn't the way to go about expressing the little emotional extra's. Besides, that isn't what this thread is about anyhow. My initial question was never answered and now we are all just conversating about bad upbringings. Woops, wrong thread, lol! I don't want to be feeling sorry for myself and have had to sit down and really think that one over. It is that little bit of child like hope for reconcilliation (that will never happen) and yearning to hear I'm sorry and I love you (which will never happen) that I find myself having a tough time letting go of. That is the mourning part that I was referring to before. Am I feeling sorry for myself? Truthfully, I am still asking myself if that is what I am really doing here on the boards. I will have to sleep on it. You are right by the way, I must be pretty arrogant to pressume, even subconsciencely, that I am the only child on this earth with a narcissistic parent. Just never met one before until now. It's not just a bad upbringing and an abusive relationship... it is a horrific experiance.... and I'm not the only one to have had it. Thanks for your complete honesty. I like that in a person. You really don't need to worry about me. I have a wonderful husband and his family is very supportive and loving. No crazy people on his side. I guess it would have helped to have thrown that in there with the rest of my posts. I really am okay and living my life. I am just learning now to deal with my past. It's like, once you take the first step out of the narcissist's web, it is truely the first time that you can begin to deal with the pains there were and work thru them. I don't want to burry them and find out later they are still there. Anyhow, I'm babbling now..... I'm a happy girl with friends and family (inlaws) that I love! Thanks for the heart! God Bless, Charlie PS If anything, one great thing was accomplished here on these boards for me over the last few days... It has been affirmed for me that there really are other people out there who know what being raised by a Jezebel Spirit/Narcissistic Parent is like. They surely do exist and they have gotten through it- like yourself. I know I can do it too, yet it was nice to read others have as well. |
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