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January 11, 2006, 11:21 pm PST
Boy, Are Guys Ever Dumb??!!
Quote From: agoodheart
I just recently got married and my husband wanted me to meet all of his friends from his past and to his present. My husband's 1st wife couldn't except any of my husband's friends. I, at first was still wondering on some of them. Some of the women he claims he wants to remain friends with even if he dated or didn't date just had off and on encounters to fulfil that need you know. One gal I accepted all ready because he dated her years ago back in his younger days and she is married to 1 of his classmate now. Then this other gal he didn't date but messed with the "encounter". He claims they're just friends now and she as a boyfriend and he had to deal with how she is with my husband also. He had to accept to. So I'm suppose to meet her sometime here so we'll see how that goes. I don't think I have anything to worry about but I do know 1 thing I won't let their friendship ruin my marriage. She even calls when she needs something to borrow or something like that. Can't she depend on boyfriend, boytfriend family, your family or even her other friends? I guess some cling to the past for help you know. Am I being too much about this or making a mountain over a mole hill here? I know I need to protect myself, right? Your husband has done what mine did, quite innocently. Most guys do want you to meet their friends, just as you would want him to meet many of yours. However, when it comes to the exes and unrequited unfulfilled flames, you really have to watch things. Go by your own radar, honey. Women know women, and most guys just don't get it.
My own DH just doesn't believe that women are conniving, probably because he really never had that much experience with girls before we got married. He was painfully shy during his teens and, by the time he developed a full-blown crush on someone, it was someone who could not commit to one person because she is an attention fiend and has to have all the male attention she can get, plus she wants big, strong, rich, social-climbing opportunities in her men, so my DH didn't qualify.
Still, these women aren't clinging to the past for help -- they want to keep as many guys on the string as they can because it gives them a sense of personal power. They love being able to get any of their friends' hubbies or boyfriends to pay more attention to them than they do their own wives/girlfriends. They also are unfair to their own partners and expect them to roll over and play dead while they pull this stuff. Of course, this "helpless female" (my eye!) can depend on herself, her boyfriend, her family, but the key is she wants to get YOUR guy to do something for her to prove her worth. Tell him that she is OUT now that you are married and she is with someone else. He made his vows to you -- not her. He needs to grow a backbone. YES, protect yourself. Decide what it is you want out of this relationship and then fight for it!
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