Replies to 'Breaking Up'

My boyfriend's  life is one tragedy after another, if it's not his kids, it's his job, it's his health...something every single day.  He is so negative and thinks life sucks then you die.  He blames it on his family luck, he says his family is cursed, he says he was physically abused by his stepfather, he was trapped into marriage, he was lied to, cheated on...it is getting to the point where I hate talking to him cuz his life is SO darn depressing.  His motto for life is "just another day in paradise".  Mine is "Life Rocks!"   He has 2 divorces, 2 biological kids, 1 that he raised thinking she was his but found out she wasn't when she was born 3 months early, and one step shild he takes as his own.  His first ex wife is a meth addict just got out of prison last year for dealing, he says his 2nd ex cheated on him, but the story is a convaluted mess of them breaking up and getting back together. She is re-married but every time she fights with her husband she runs to my boyfriend.  Her and her husband just split up and where did she go?  She went to my bf and he took her and their kids in until she found an apt.  I said, you have to do what you have to do for your kids but she runs to you because she knows she can.  I was out of town visiting my family for the holidays so I wasn't around when all of this happened.  He says nothing happened between them but he also said that she did ask him about working things out.  He told me that he said no, I don't trust you. Which is different than I have no feelings for you, right? It's weird because sometimes he says what an awful parent and person she is and that he doesn't care what happens to her.  Then he says well she takes good care of the kids and because she was adopted she is screwed up.  I say, ya know my childhood was filled with abuse and crap too, but I rose above, helped myself thru therapy and now I have a wonderful relationship with my family.  Excuses I say, victim mentality.    

He was in an accident last year that injured his back, he was just taken off work and will probably end up on short term disability. Now, the kicker is he was seeing a Dr for a year, didn't get better but refused to see another Dr for a second opinion because he was the family Dr.  SO, now he is off work, depressed, sore and I feel bad for him.  I told him to use this tiem to take a class or look into starting that business he wants.  Selfishly I think, great, even less money to do anything.  I am not saying he needs money, I have paid many times just so we could do things.  ANYTHING, just to get out and have a life other than what is new at the video rental place.  He is a video game junkie, spends hours on them...me I hate the violence and have only played them twice...the racing games.  He lets his 6 year old play killing games...I disagree but I am not his parent.  SO, I haven't been staying with him because the game is always on. 

Now I should say that he treats me good, I get flowers, cards, he always tells me how much he loves me, he always says I am the sunshine in his life, pressure!  The problem is, being around him sucks the life out of me.  He is a very sweet man but his life is a friggin trainwreck.  I broke up with him once because the constant drama was too much to handle. I felt my spirit dying.  We got back together because well, I felt like at 38 I was never going to find anyone who treated me so well.  But now just 3 months later I feel dead again, I feel like I have a horrible black cloud overhead.  My family and friends say I am not shining anymore, that my "light" is gone.  I am a successful, single woman, never married, no kids, own my house, good job, great friends, loving family and used to have a very full life.   He says, "I am trying to be positive but life won't let me.  I am not meant to be happy in this life I am meant to sacrifice my happiness for the good of others".  I say sacrifice for your children is one thing but being a martyr is another, think about what you are teaching them.  I am really worried that I am making a huge mistake and I don't have time to waste.  Life is passing me by...I've gotten myself back into therapy to figure out why would I choose this for myself.  BUT I feel like leaving him now is a horribly selfish thing to do.  I need serious help, thank you!