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Replies to 'Addiction Support'
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January 10, 2006, 11:15 am PST
 Quote From: outofmymnd Thanks again Indian,
I am worried about my daughter as well, she has such a big heart, especially when it comes to her friends. I have noticed that this girl is calling here more, and even came over one night something she has never done before. ( I made sure she knew that the drugs were not welcome, but she was). My daughter was on the phone with her last night for almost 2 hours because the friend was having a rough night. It really upsets me to know that this tears at my daughter so much, and I am trying to maintain that openness, but when she gets really upset she shuts down....yet another challenge. We are going away for the weekend, I truly hope that her friend is ok during that time. It just blows my mind to think that this kid could get so messed up so early, but then again, so did I. So frustrating!!!!!!!
I really am grateful for your advice, and for your concern. There aren't many people that think we are doing the right thing by trying to help this girl, most think we should just "walk away" from her.....how that would work I don't know. The last thing she needs is another person abandoning her (just my opinion). Thanks again, Tammy First, I think it's awesome that you're going away for the weekend. I hope it ends up as a fun distraction from all this!
And I, too, wonder why people would say to walk away from the other girl. The biggest issue is knowing your own limitations....but you seem to have a handle on that.
One thing: I do again suggest a support group for your daughter in going through this, but if you or she can't be talked into that, I'd suggest maybe browsing through the recovery section of a bookstore and identifying a good book on learning when and how to "let go" when you're dealing with an addict. Another option, believe it or not, would be for your daughter (under your guidance, of course) to seek out some internet forums where she can talk openly about her feelings.
I just got done saying this to someone else, but I'll reiterate it here. It really is the toughest lesson of all when we love addicts and alcoholics -- we want to help and we want to save, but in many cases we run into a brick wall. And most people blame themselves when this happens. If only they could have found the right combination of words! I grew up with this (having 2 alcoholic parents) and then I put my own loved ones through it, so I know the helplessness and the blame game.
But I still say it sounds like you have a very good handle on things! |
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