Replies to '03/22 Living on the Edge'

missbilly

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January 11, 2006, 6:09 pm PST

will agree to disagree with you here

Quote From: mstrini

I was raise by my grandmother on my Father side of the family. My father was an social drinker his words. My mother left me and took on a whole new life in a Canada until I met her at 9 years old. She lived with my stepfather at the time, he was having sex with my sister (different father) and I told. My mother send my sister away and kept the man I was rape by father. The point is the we can control certain things in our lives but there are some that we can. Lisa like alot of other people blame not having this or because of this that why my life is the way it is. Please ...I have had many other terrible things happen to me but how I choose to deal with t was to write and speck about it.That's the problem with people we don't allow others to be accountable for what they do. I don't and did not have the support network like most people. I have been doing the self healing and the building of me by myself. Look the bottom line is that Lisa like everyone else is not a baby that needs their hand pat when they do something wrong. These are people that are old enough to know better and know that there will be a price to pay for their actions. I can testify that I did it alone with the help of my god. I have not committed any crimes against anyone I work currently in school for my B.A. People need to be accountable....

Yes you are accountable for your actions and yes you are accountable to be able to say no to alcohol. However once you start to drink for whatever reason you leave the alcohol and whatever it was that started you take over. People who drink all the time do not even realize what they are doing to themselves in more cases than any someone usually has to step in and say HEY WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO YOURSELF? Until they hear that or something tragic happens these people usually just keep the pattern going. Now understand it also as you said can be stopped by just saying NO I'm not drinking and kids that grow up with parents who drink do not always drink themselves. I have a family across the road from me and there mother used to drink herself drunk all the time her daughter would come over and see if she was at my place and she would never be and I would go out looking for her with her daughter. We would usually find her at a neighbors house who made the mistake of letting her in but the girl was only fifteen and acted more like the adult then her mom did and she does not drink but--her one brother does drink and why ? Because both parents drank and drank until they were drunk and on top of that in bad judgement after they would pass out he would get a hold of the beer and he was only about 14 when he did. Cops were at the house almost every weekend because of a party and things would get out of hand because this lady was nasty when she would get drunk. You didn't pick up the drinking and that is good and lucky for you that you were able to be strong enough to say no I'm not doing it. On the other hand there are people and lots of families where the cycle repeats and since the family does it the newest abuser say a child sees nothing wrong with how much they may be drinking because hey mom and dad do it so it must be okay. The parents have to be the role model for there children. I drank but you can bet your life that I did not drink till I was drunk and if my kids needed me I was there sober and knew I had to take care of them. I barely drank at all anymore once I had my daughter but then I was raised by parents who did not drink that much a case of beer in my parents house could last a year and they had wine that my dads boss gave them for christmas for years because they just were not drinkers however my brother who is 40 is an alcoholic and a drug addict and he is married and has two kids and one on the way and he has a filthy mouth too and he still drinks and still does drugs. Now where did he get it from? Not our parents so alcoholics come from all backgrounds and like my brother we tell him to get help but he don't see a problem the state of Maryland made him go into rehab when he got out he stayed clean for a total of one month and hooked back up with his friends and started all over again now he is waiting on a hearing or trial for being caught buying drugs and all I have to say to him is I hope they throw the key away this time because nothing is getting through to him at least Lisa is willing to admit she has a problem and wants help. I've helped and been there for a few friends for more than a few problems and I tell them I'm here for them no matter what and I am I will never leave a friend on there own if they want my help. You want to say you have had your share of terrible things happen well I can believe it but I have had two big losses in my life one in 1987 when I lost twins in my fifth month of pregnancy-I didn't do anything wrong I didn't drink and I don't smoke but still two innocent babies just didn't make it to full term and that my friend almost killed me and now if you look at my avatar take a real good close look and I will tell anyone who drinks and drives take a look at that avatar if you can make it bigger please do so because that my friends is all I have left to remember of my husband because that is the result of him drinking and driving and falling asleep behind the wheel in October of 2000. He rolled our 1991 Honda Accord because they investigated and came up with the fact that he fell asleep behind the wheel and did not have time to negotiate a slight curve when he must woke up and by that time it was too late the car was already flipping. That is drinking and driving and his blood alcohol level was .18 and what really bugs me is HE WAS NOT EVEN DRINKING ANYMORE BUT WENT TO A PARTY ON HALLOWEEN WEEKEND AND THOUGHT LIKE HE DID OTHER TIMES THAT HE COULD HANDLE IT AND BE HOME FOR MY RETURN FROM A RACE THAT MY SON AND I WENT TOO AND DON'T THINK THAT THERE IS A DAY WHERE I QUESTION MYSELF THAT IF I WOULD HAVE STAYED HOME HE WOULD STILL BE HERE ALIVE TODAY WITH US. HE NEVER WENT TO PARTIES ANYMORE WHEN I WAS HOME WE SPENT FAMILY TIME TOGETHER WITH OUR SON AND DAUGHTER WHO NOW HAVE NO FATHER. THAT IS THE ONE MOST TRAGIC THING IN THIS WORLD IN MY ESTIMATION AND IF SOMEONE OUT THERE IS DRINKING YOU BET YOUR BOTTOM DOLLAR THAT I WILL TRY IN ANY WAY,SHAPE OR FORM TO WAKE THEM UP TO WHAT IS GOING ON AND HAPPENING TO THEM AND BE THERE FOR THEM WHEN THEY MAY NOT EVEN BE THERE FOR THEMSELVES SIMPLY BECAUSE I DO NOT WANT TO SEE ANOTHER FAMILY GET RIPPED APART LIKE ME AND MY CHILDREN MY LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN EVER.

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