Quote From: dterenziDoes it make me a bad person when I can not except the fact that my 24 yr old daughter is living with a black man? My Daughter and Granddaughter are living with a black man. Do I object to this? ABSOLUTELY with out a doubt. I do not dis like blacks I just don't believe that whites and blacks should mix. A year ago my daughter was living with me and became pregnant by a black guy, needless to say she had to move out, I made it clear that there would be no way that I would ever except that child as my grand child, My daughter terminated the pregnancy, and the black guy was out of the picture, he actually wanted the pregnancy terminated but wanted me to pay for it, I refused, it wasn't my problem. My daughter has since moved on and now is living with another black guy. My family and I have pretty much cut her out of our lives, she can come visit but the guy is not allowed to come to our home, And they are not included in any family functions, She chose to spend Christmas with him instead of her family. He may be a nice guy, but I just can not except the fact that he is black and that they have some sort of a relationship whatever that may be. The worst thought that crosses my mind is the fact that my granddaughter could end up calling this man DAD, the fear is that kids are cruel and what will happen when she goes to school and the other kids discover that she calls a black guy DAD? I just don't know... I have told my husband over and over again that I feel guilty for the way that I feel, but I just can not get past it.
It seems to me that perhaps you feel guilty for the way you feel because you know it's not healthy. What is the worst thing that can happen if you were to sit down and have a conversation with this man? You may find you share the same values, goals in life, fears, concerns and love for your daughter and granddaughter but they are just wrapped in different packages, one being white and one black.
I once read of an experiment a woman did with her daughter....she cracked open a white egg and spilled it into a cup, then a brown egg and spilled it into another cup. She asked her daughter if there was any difference between the two, to which she replied "no". It's the same with people of different races....we may look different on the outside, but inside we are all the same, our lives began from cell to fetus exactly the same way.
Our differences in colour and culture should make us more interesting to each other, not make us shy away in fear or disgust.
I truly hope you can take a small step simply to have a conversation with your daughter's partner, find out who he is and what he's all about. Even if you still don't agree with the colour issue, at least you'll know what type of man she is involved with and exposing your granddaughter to. After all, shouldn't that be the most important concern?
Best wishes!
