Quote From: dterenziI don't think that I am naive at all, and I know that my granddaughter would not be the only white child in school with a black step father. Yes I do worry about other children being cruel. I have some friends, he is black and she is white, they have a daughter, she has told me that no matter how you look at it her daughter is black, she got called names in school, teased, (is that fair to an innocent child?) she has also said that when they go out they get looks, even in this day and age it is still frowned upon, granted most are racist, I however do not believe that I am a racist, It's a cruel world we live in and by admission, caused by people that think and feel the way I do. Like I said I feel guilty at times for the way I feel.
Kids are going to tease your child, black father or not. Maybe they won't like the shape of her eyes or the color of her hair or the way she talks, but would you be so worried abut their cruelty if it were for any of these reasons? Probably not. Your only concern is the black man that is in her life and the life of your daughter.
The last thing your granddaughter needs is a judgemental family, when she will have to tolerate teasing from her peers. Not just because her mother is with a black man. But because kids find any reason they can to tease another kid. You should be supportive, rather then trying to cut them out of your life, because they will need you more then ever.
The fact that you feel guilty for feeling the way you do shows that you are willing to make a change in your life. Start by meeting your daughter and her significant other for lunch or dinner or even a cup of coffee. Get to know him. He might be a perfectly acceptable, respectful, kind, and caring man. Do all you can to repair your relationship with your daughter. Family should be the one thing in our lives that never wavers, never falters, never turns away from us. Unfortunately, that's not always the case. Don't disown your daughter, don't turn away from her, just because she chooses to live with a black man. She cannot help who she falls in love with, but you can help how you react to it. Choose to love your daughter, black man or not. The rest will fall into place.
