actually it was that the dr well the PA (physicians assisitant) tried to put me on meds and i would not take them. i feel like i deserve it when i do it..... i try to believe i don't and i don't think you are lying when you say i don't deserve it but i still feel like i do..... guess it stinks when our feelings lie but it is hard not to feel i deserve it........ not only that it's like it feels so good to do..... i have a counsellor finally so i go to her on tuesday.....
