Quote From: mjkkasPlease know that you can confront your abuser, but do it for the right reasons. Let them know how it affected you and that you are still hurting from it. Write things down so you get everything said. If you are doing it for validation, you probably won't get it. I am sorry to say that, but most of them will deny it ever happened, or just put it on you.
So please be prepared, I don't want to sound pessimistic, I just want you to know that it is not a good idea to do it for validation. It is a shame that the abusers do go on with their life while we still struggle tremendously. I believe that what goes around comes around.
My mother was one of the ones that sexually molested me and she had a near death experience years and years ago. It wasn't the bright lights and the warm feelings though. She is afraid to die, because she believes that she will go to hell, me too! I can only hope!
A lot of therapists recommend confronting your abusers, but for the right reasons. To clear your head and get out all your feelings about it. You will have to get your validation from other places most likely. There are times that it works out that way, but it is best to be prepared, for the worst.
I know what you mean about wanting to be validated, I am still looking for that myself, maybe it is in us, I am not sure. I wish you the best of luck.
thank you for your imput. You are probably right. I have just touched the tip of the ice berg with my child abuse issues. so am still waddling in the water. I will do no good. But atleast from my one brother who remembers it. i know it wasnt all in my head. My parents would flip if they knew i talked to my brother about this. They like to keep the house clean by sweeping everything under the rug.
I dont believe in hell. But i believe that its the grave. And that eventually everyone has there judgement in front of God. Good or bad. We all have to answer for things we did. Some worse then others.
Thanks again for your imput much appreciated.
Blaze
