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Replies to 'Differing Sex Drives'
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August 10, 2005, 3:23 pm PDT
 Quote From: rayvinfive Angel,
I read you're long message, and instead of adding it all as a qoute I'm doing this. You have a right to be bothered about his past, but it is that: his past. If he has legitimately changed, which it sounds like he did, then it shouldn't be a big problem. Easier said than done, I know. I had an ex boyfriend that claimed that he was a "recovering nympho". He didn't know much.
To answer a question that you have, look at your father.
"Then there is my father who had a bad life until he met my Mom and he is the best Dad and husband a person could want. He made they choice to change and has kept to that for over 30 years. "
He is a good example of what can happen. It sounds like this guy is a keeper. He has changed his lifestyle to a better one. Admitted by you, he is a great guy. Do you have any reservations about his actions when the two of you are not together?
If his comparing you to his other liasons bothers you let him know. Not when the two of you are arguing, but at a quiet time. Tell him that you know he has had many other partners, but his references to them bother you. Tell him why as well.
My own opinion is that you should keep him around. Other than the issues of his partners, you sound like you're really happy with him. I hope I helped some.
RayvinFive Yes, you did help.
I spent a long time thinking about it and realized that his past is my only problem. There is nothing really present tense that bothers me about him. Like you said, it is the past and has nothing to do with us. All of it was a year and a half or more ago and he didn't even know me then.
I spoke to him yesterday when we went for a quiet walk and told him that for whatever reason I am not the personality type that can handle knowing that sort of stuff and that he should only tell me what will affect me directly and is important with that regard. I also promised not to ask questions about things that I may not be able to handle the honest answer to.
We will see how it plays out but I do know since we made that agreement yesterday, I have felt better and so has he. We actually had fun. |
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August 10, 2005, 3:35 pm PDT
Quote From: rayvinfive Angel,
I read you're long message, and instead of adding it all as a qoute I'm doing this. You have a right to be bothered about his past, but it is that: his past. If he has legitimately changed, which it sounds like he did, then it shouldn't be a big problem. Easier said than done, I know. I had an ex boyfriend that claimed that he was a "recovering nympho". He didn't know much.
To answer a question that you have, look at your father.
"Then there is my father who had a bad life until he met my Mom and he is the best Dad and husband a person could want. He made they choice to change and has kept to that for over 30 years. "
He is a good example of what can happen. It sounds like this guy is a keeper. He has changed his lifestyle to a better one. Admitted by you, he is a great guy. Do you have any reservations about his actions when the two of you are not together?
If his comparing you to his other liasons bothers you let him know. Not when the two of you are arguing, but at a quiet time. Tell him that you know he has had many other partners, but his references to them bother you. Tell him why as well.
My own opinion is that you should keep him around. Other than the issues of his partners, you sound like you're really happy with him. I hope I helped some.
RayvinFive Oh, I forgot to answer your reservations about when we are not together. No, I don't. Two examples of why is:
1. When he was still living away, he was invited on a night out with two other couples and another girl. I didn't feel it was appropriate that he go as I was told that the girl who was single and going was at a party the previous weekend telling a guy with a girlfriend about her blow job skills and basicaly offering to prove it. I told him that even though I trust him that I didn't think that it was appropriate for him to go when I live so far away. He could have went and I never would have known but he didn't go, understood why I would feel that way and instead stayed home voice messaging with me until 4:00am on Messenger.
2. A couple of weeks ago a new girl that started at his work was standing too close to him and obviously had a crush on him and he asked her why she was standing so close to him. When she responded with "just to say goodbye to you", he was like "see that girl over there, she is my girlfriend, you know the one I told you about. Bye but never stand that close to me again". He shut her down right away.
He also has told me when girls have went up to him when I wasn't around and what she said and so on so that is a good sign I think.
We always go out together and I usually meet him after work so there isn't much of a window for that kind of stuff anyway on either end. You can't cheat if you don't create opportunities for cheating.
We both believe the point of sharing your life with someone is to spend time with them when not at work. |
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