Replies to '01/17 Extreme Disorders'

 
User Mood
Good

Message Emote
blank
January 15, 2006, 4:44 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: karen_kiki

Thanks to Dr. Phil we see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.  It is true I have not taken care of myself or my relationship with my husband and I have felt extremely angry for some time.  Not angry at Alex but at not being the Parent who can fix it all and make the home like the perfect family from the 50's and 60's.  Ok, I know there was no perfect family however TV and Movies are deceiving.  But I want him to have the best life he can and I want to be able to relax and not worry about the not so NORMAL things.   

  

Example, last night after the Basketball Game Alex got a ride home with friends.  We left the game at 9:30 p.m. and there was 1 minute left of play (they won).  Alex didn't get home for another 90 minutes.  Under typical circumstances I would have been a worriesome mother, last night I was not just a worriesome mother but I was worrying beyond belief.  Was he calm, was he raging, had he run off due to anger, or was he being a Teenager and not thinking things through and in an environment not appropriate for him.... 

  

I had to hold back when he walked in happy, calm and unaware that it took an extra hour or so to get home.  He actually walked in, told us how the game finished, who brought him home and how they had to dropped off two other people first (the driver's girlfriend and her friend) on the opposite side of the community. 

  

Since I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop I am always ready to jump in on things..........luckily along with getting Alex some help I have found someone who I too will be working with to help me get through life (my life).  I look forward to working with viewers like yourself who can help me and I in turn will be able to help.  Reaching out getting the support we need for ourselves and our families is what will bring us all WELLNESS. 

  

Thanks for you support, Karen 

I know it is very hard to take care of yourself when it feels like all you can handle is taking care of your child.  I also have a daughter who is 5 yrs old that doesn't have any problems like my son who is 17.  Sometimes it feels like I have two 5 year old although my little girl is so much easier to handle.  I can't say I am a perfect mother because I am not.  The past couple years I have been ~trying~ to take care of myself instead of being so stressed out all the time on wondering what my son is up to.  My sons school helps him very much and understand how to handle him.  I know some schools are not that helpful but we are very lucky to have the high school in our district.  I am glad you will be on Dr. Phill to show everyone how much help we need for our children.  I am sure there are much more families that have problems like we have.  Don't forget there is always hope for everyone.  Things may not change as quick as we want them to but I am sure it will get better for you.  I feel for you and can understand some of what you are going thru. 
 
User Mood
Apathetic

Message Emote
hopeful
January 15, 2006, 7:51 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: karen_kiki

Thanks to Dr. Phil we see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.  It is true I have not taken care of myself or my relationship with my husband and I have felt extremely angry for some time.  Not angry at Alex but at not being the Parent who can fix it all and make the home like the perfect family from the 50's and 60's.  Ok, I know there was no perfect family however TV and Movies are deceiving.  But I want him to have the best life he can and I want to be able to relax and not worry about the not so NORMAL things.   

  

Example, last night after the Basketball Game Alex got a ride home with friends.  We left the game at 9:30 p.m. and there was 1 minute left of play (they won).  Alex didn't get home for another 90 minutes.  Under typical circumstances I would have been a worriesome mother, last night I was not just a worriesome mother but I was worrying beyond belief.  Was he calm, was he raging, had he run off due to anger, or was he being a Teenager and not thinking things through and in an environment not appropriate for him.... 

  

I had to hold back when he walked in happy, calm and unaware that it took an extra hour or so to get home.  He actually walked in, told us how the game finished, who brought him home and how they had to dropped off two other people first (the driver's girlfriend and her friend) on the opposite side of the community. 

  

Since I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop I am always ready to jump in on things..........luckily along with getting Alex some help I have found someone who I too will be working with to help me get through life (my life).  I look forward to working with viewers like yourself who can help me and I in turn will be able to help.  Reaching out getting the support we need for ourselves and our families is what will bring us all WELLNESS. 

  

Thanks for you support, Karen 

I can relate to some of what you are going through.  Our 12 year old was just diagnosed with Aspergers.  He does not have the same rage as your son but can be very difficult at times.  We have a terrific doctor that is helping us to improve our lives and the life of our children in dealing with this syndrome.  I have a lot of hope and it is thanks to brave people like you that will bring it to the forefront that this type of behavior is neorological and that there is help and support out there. 

thank you for your courage 

 
User Mood
Cranky

Message Emote
blank
January 17, 2006, 1:42 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: karen_kiki

Thanks to Dr. Phil we see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.  It is true I have not taken care of myself or my relationship with my husband and I have felt extremely angry for some time.  Not angry at Alex but at not being the Parent who can fix it all and make the home like the perfect family from the 50's and 60's.  Ok, I know there was no perfect family however TV and Movies are deceiving.  But I want him to have the best life he can and I want to be able to relax and not worry about the not so NORMAL things.   

  

Example, last night after the Basketball Game Alex got a ride home with friends.  We left the game at 9:30 p.m. and there was 1 minute left of play (they won).  Alex didn't get home for another 90 minutes.  Under typical circumstances I would have been a worriesome mother, last night I was not just a worriesome mother but I was worrying beyond belief.  Was he calm, was he raging, had he run off due to anger, or was he being a Teenager and not thinking things through and in an environment not appropriate for him.... 

  

I had to hold back when he walked in happy, calm and unaware that it took an extra hour or so to get home.  He actually walked in, told us how the game finished, who brought him home and how they had to dropped off two other people first (the driver's girlfriend and her friend) on the opposite side of the community. 

  

Since I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop I am always ready to jump in on things..........luckily along with getting Alex some help I have found someone who I too will be working with to help me get through life (my life).  I look forward to working with viewers like yourself who can help me and I in turn will be able to help.  Reaching out getting the support we need for ourselves and our families is what will bring us all WELLNESS. 

  

Thanks for you support, Karen 

 I have a strange theory about these types of conditions.  AS, and certain other neurological conditions that are characterized by  well above average intelligence quotients and savant like abilities tend to cause abnormal brain patterns.  The way I figure it works is your brain is like a giant electircal circuit and when it's hyper active in certain sectors it just overloads and causes erratic behavior.   That's the best explaination I can figure.

I felt so bad for your family, it was hard to watch how much Alex seems to hate the way he behaves. It's like he feels guilt and shame for being the way he was born.  I felt so bad that you and your husband suffer so much along with him.  You all definately need help managing Alex's illness. 

I just want you to know that you should NEVER blame yourself for his condition.  You didn't wish it on him, you didn't ask for it.  It just happened, and like most parents you weren't expecting it so you weren't as prepared as you wish you had been.  That's okay.  It isn't too late.  I think you and your husband have done the best you could with the tools you had available.  Other than his behavioral outburts due to his condition your son seemed like a good kid.  So you should pat yourselves on the back for that.

I hope in the future your family will gain insight into Alex's condition and that you'll all find better coping strategies for yourselves and your family.  Good luck in the future :)
 
User Mood
Happy

Message Emote
blank
January 17, 2006, 3:11 pm PST

01/17 Extreme Disorders

Quote From: karen_kiki

Thanks to Dr. Phil we see the light at the end of a very long tunnel.  It is true I have not taken care of myself or my relationship with my husband and I have felt extremely angry for some time.  Not angry at Alex but at not being the Parent who can fix it all and make the home like the perfect family from the 50's and 60's.  Ok, I know there was no perfect family however TV and Movies are deceiving.  But I want him to have the best life he can and I want to be able to relax and not worry about the not so NORMAL things.   

  

Example, last night after the Basketball Game Alex got a ride home with friends.  We left the game at 9:30 p.m. and there was 1 minute left of play (they won).  Alex didn't get home for another 90 minutes.  Under typical circumstances I would have been a worriesome mother, last night I was not just a worriesome mother but I was worrying beyond belief.  Was he calm, was he raging, had he run off due to anger, or was he being a Teenager and not thinking things through and in an environment not appropriate for him.... 

  

I had to hold back when he walked in happy, calm and unaware that it took an extra hour or so to get home.  He actually walked in, told us how the game finished, who brought him home and how they had to dropped off two other people first (the driver's girlfriend and her friend) on the opposite side of the community. 

  

Since I am always waiting for the other shoe to drop I am always ready to jump in on things..........luckily along with getting Alex some help I have found someone who I too will be working with to help me get through life (my life).  I look forward to working with viewers like yourself who can help me and I in turn will be able to help.  Reaching out getting the support we need for ourselves and our families is what will bring us all WELLNESS. 

  

Thanks for you support, Karen 

It's interesting how children with disabilities can bring together families and tear them apart at the same time.  My 17 year-old brother is autistic, while he's pretty docile, he throws fits sometimes that are a little hard to control.  I am 20 years old and i've watched my parents be on the brink of divorce several times.  I love my brother more than anything else in the entire world, and I'm living away from home and he's the one I miss the most.  I guess you just have to get to the point where you can see that the fact that you have a child/brother/sister with special needs is so much a blessing, that it can/will outweigh all the troubles.  Best of luck to you and your family.  You'll be in my thoughts and Prayers.  
 


Return to the Message Board


First Page | Previous Page | 1 | Next Page | Last Page