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Replies to '01/17 Extreme Disorders'
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January 17, 2006, 7:27 am PST
 Quote From: karen_kiki I just called Alex in as I read your note. This sounds like me writing about Alex. Alex not only has AS but he has Mood Swing Disorders, that causes the influx of his meltdowns. Alex too has the obsessive need to play video games and WIN. You cannot reason with him and he too will yell, scream, hit, throw and call me names.
Alex wants Bradley to know that what he did in middle school to get through the social aspects was to show off all of his talents, in Alex's case it was Singing, and still is. Alex also is a sports fanatic and he got himself involved as a team manager when he wasn't able to make the team.
In Middle School he ran cross country (and although not fast he competed against himself week after week and improved!) Alex says being on the sports teams gives him the opportunity to mix with Upper Class men which works for him, they seem to accept him better then his own classmates.
Girls also seem to be more understanding as well....although at an age where they want to begin dating, having a male friend is important to them and they will gravitate towards Bradley too.
Alex wishes Bradley all the luck in the world. Please keep in touch and know we care, we've been there and we're still there!
Karen -
Tell Alex, thank you for the ideas. My son who is 12 is trying his best to fit in. His passion is gaming (computer and Xbox). He excels in this area. He has found a group of friends who also have an interests in gaming (what boy doesn't these days), so he is able to fit in there. It makes sense to show off those attributes which enables you to display your confidence. Girls are still a definent "Stepping Out of The Box" issue - LOL. This is an area he has NO confidence in. We're trying to work on that one.
He is also not a sports person. He gets very anxious when involved with a team or sports activity. I've tried single player sports, (tennis, golf), but these activities set him up for "Meltdowns." So we've kind of given up on these activities. We don't want to force something on him which will diminish his confidence. Why make him do something he has NO interest in. It's just setting him up to fail. That's just my opinion in dealing with my son. We have to do what works best for each.
I know you're getting alot of help and advice from professionals, but if I could offer something that works for me and my son. You can do what you want with it....When Austin has a meltdown or outburst, I give him a few minutes alone in his room (or a place he feels "safe' - my daughter's place is in the living room under a coffee table.) I then go in his room and talk as softly and calmly as I can. Soft enough, but loud enough he can hear me. I then ask him what is bothering him. It usually takes a little while to get to the root of the real problem. Most of the time, it's not what just happened that knocked him over the edge. It's usually something that happened early that day or even a couple of days ago. It's kind of like talking someone off the ledge. The calmer I am, the easier it is for him to calm down and think rationally. I don't know about Alex, but Austin is very analytical and Black and White. Just a simple explanation of why or what is happening will sometimes help. An example of a time recently: At Christmas we always of a family get together with alot of family members. Austin does not do well with load noices, multiple people talking at the same time, and crowds. Because of this, I knew he needed extra sleep to be able to deal with these pains. So I told him he needed to go to bed early. He immediatly had an meltdown with outbursts. He went to his room, I gave him a few minutes along, then I went up. He didn't understand why he was on vacation and had to go to bed early. I softly proceeded to explain to him about his pains (loud noices, groups of people, etc and Christmas gathering the next day). By going to bed early, it will give his brain enough rest to help him handle all of these upcoming issues. It made sense to him, he calmed down and went to sleep.
Once again, I wish you luck with Alex and my prayers are with your family too. Thanks again for helping bring attention to ASD. |
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