Replies to '01/17 Extreme Disorders'

I'm new to the boards, but I am the mother of a 14 yr. old boy who has been diagnosed with "high functioning autism."    Watching the show today about Alex was like watching my son Keith.  I just wish Keith could express himself verbally as well as Alex.  Keith is very verbal about things that interest him, but he can't seem to express what he's feeling.   

I have a 24 yr. old son and 22 yr. old daughter and they have been wonderful with their brother from the beginning.  All the strain took it's toll on my marriage and their father and I divorced 7 years ago after 20 years of marriage.  That part didn't really seem to bother Keith since their father was an over-the-road truck driver and was seldom home.   

When he was younger, there were frequent outbursts of aggression...mostly when he was non-verbal.  Once we got his speech back on track, the outbursts became less frequent until about 2 yrs. ago.  I was told that the escalation of aggression was common with the onset of puberty.  Then to make things worse, his father died last year unexpectedly.  The aggressive outburts have really escalated.  The first 2 weeks of school this year, I was called to the school 7 times because of his aggressive behaviour.  Most of it was directed toward desks, file cabinets, etc.  Most of the outbursts occur at school, but they have spilled over at home too.  He has made comments of burning or blowing up the school and killing people....but only when he's having an outburst.  It can be scary sometimes.  Not that I think he will do it....but what someone might do to him thinking he really means it. 

The school has not really helped things out either.  Now that he is bigger, I think he intimidates them (all his teachers and aides are female).  Our new principle is an ex-police officer and takes everything very literally and has NO concept or understanding of autism.  They have made it very clear that they would prefer he was in another school.  It has been a constant battle.  He is the oldest of only 3 autistic children in our school district and they just don't seem to know what to do with him. 

I remarried 5 years ago.  My husband really tries to understand what is going on.  The aggressive behaviours are starting to take a toll on us.  There are so many good days.  He's a very bright boy....has an amazing audio memory....a whiz at the computer and video games.  He's a natural comedian and can make anyone laugh....but when the outburts happen, they are so intense it overshadows all the good stuff sometimes. 

When he does finally meltdown, sometimes he looks at me crying and says "Mom, I don't know why I do some of the things I do.  I'm sorry.  Why do I have to be different?"  It just rips my heart out. 

We live in a very small, rural community.  There are no support groups and very few other autistic children.  It's really hard sometimes.  I used to really trust and rely on the school system, but not anymore.  I just get so tired sometimes.