Message Boards
Replies to '12/28 Wifestyles'
|
January 18, 2006, 12:34 pm PST
 Quote From: kschmittz Sonja/Firstamom,
Just wanted to make a comment to you that you are awesome! Your "debate" with Diana hit the nail on the head! I have been "debating" her via website and my personal email and it's so interesting. Once the conversation reaches a certain point (just like on these boards) where she cannot spew out some rehearsed answer she clams up. I think we all are glad she feels fulfilled in her position but sad she cannot see any other way of life that may produce great kids/families with morals and values. Personally, I think she does what she does because she's not 100% happy in her own life otherwise she wouldn't need to "help" others so badly. Also, for Duckie and Judy- thank you for being there in the world my children will be in someday. Duckie, I admire your profession and Judy, my son will be a lawyer some day. My hope/dream is not that all Moms stay home or work out but rather focus on teaching their kids what they can. It's really easy to put blame on a situation outside of our own (I've done it, too!) yet I think once we ALL go beyond our own backyard and see how another situation may be beneficial (although not perfect) that's the beginnig of TRUE change and Sisterhood. For all SAHM's who realize the life of a WM may NOT be the materialistic, self-absorbed, high-end situation they think- thank you! It's not easy on either side of the fence. We all do what we can, when we can to try and be the best parents we can be given our situation. Kschmitz, Thank you! It was never my intent to "debate" with her... just to make her understand that A) She was coming across in a way that ostracized some of the people that she may have been trying to reach and B) that kids who have moms that work are not necessarily neglected, unappreciated or made to feel less than the wonderful gift that they are. Honestly, I hope that she IS as happy as she claims to be. And I hope that she continues to help women who have made the choice to stay home feel good about their decision. But not at the expense of making other mothers feel bad about their decision to work outside of the home. After 7 years of raising my son and scrambling to find babysitters and daycares that were a good fit and worrying about whether I would get home in time to pick him up - I found my dream job. For a year now I have been working at a company that allows me to work from home when I need to, allows me to work from 9AM - 4PM so that I can get my son on and off the bus, allows me to go on fieldtrips and do the things that I've always wanted to. Jobs like mine are few and far between - I know - I looked for this one for a long time. My son has learned alot about a good work ethic from watching me work, he has also learned that there is NOTHING that I wouldn't do for him. Being married to my husband has taught me that everyone's idea of successfully managing their finances is very different. COULD we make it on his income? Certainly. Would we be living the type of life that we want? Certainly not. It is important to us that we be able to make annual trips to Massachusetts, Kentucky and Colorado to see grandparents, aunts and uncles. It's something we value. We could pay the bills on his salary - but with my salary added we can pay for college, pay for trips and extracurricular activites and put more aside for retirement. THAT's important to us. As a sisterhood of women, yes, we certainly do need to be more understanding and supportive of each other. We need to applaud each others accomplishments and offer each other a shoulder when things fall apart. Women typically consider men to be more competitive in nature - I think that we as women compete 100 times over... who has the cutest baby, who's the better mommy, who's kid gets better grades, who has the nicer house, who has the better job, who has the bigger diamond? Who is happy? That's what we need to ask. WHO is happy and how did they find that happiness. I will GUARANTEE that those that are happy have found peace with themselves. They do not feel STUCK, they do not feel oppressed... they are working for their accomplishments and for the kind of life they want to live. To all the HAPPY women out there... keep up the good work! Kschmitz... email me if you ever want to talk.... sonjavon@hotmail.com. |
|
Return to the Message Board
