Quote From: vlombardiKaren,
As I watched your story yesterday I felt you were me. Everything you said is what I am going through also. My 12 1/2 year old son, also named Alex, was diagnosed with Asperger's several years ago along with ADHD, OCD, a touch of Tourette's even. My Alex even looks like your Alex! Anyway, my life, like yours, has been completely turned upside down. Everything we do revolves around our son and how he will behave in public. I have two younger daughters who suffer because of their brother's issues. My relationship with my husband is strained to say the least, I am now on antidepressants and I am scared to death. I worry constantly about what my son's life will hold. I worry constantly about how he is doing in school. I dread the phone ringing because I know it is the school calling about another problem. Alex has been terribly bullied for several years. The school tries to help but they are completely incapable of giving my child what he really needs. Alex has voiced his desire to die before. I worry that he would maybe follow through with this one day. He KNOWS he is different. He KNOWS he has no friends. Unlike some kids with Austism, Asperger's children are completely aware of their differences and their inability to do anything about it. Sometimes I think that is worse. People are so cruel. The comments made to me about my son are rude, mean spirited and heartless. Because he looks normal they feel they have a right to say something to me. Sometimes I think if he had a visually apparent disability that it would be easier.
I pretty much knew the minute my son was born that things were not right. He had a traumatic birth with fetal distress, cephalopelvic disproportion, muconium aspiration and oxygen deprivation resulting in an emergency c-section. He cried nonstop for years and never slept. We have come a long way in finally getting this diagnosis but I feel such guilt about not doing more faster. I always replay the "what ifs" in my head. It is a terrible way to live.
Alex at 12 has no life except school (which he hates) and his video games. He likes to go to movies but that is about it. He has been on medications since he was 3. Now he is on Adderall (for his hyperactivity), Celexa (anti-depressant) and Clonidine (because he does not sleep). We tried Abilify for 4 days but the sideeffects were so bad and dramatic that we had to discontinue it. What meds is your Alex on? Oh, another question. After Alex has his functioning MRI, what kind of treatment will they do on him? I would love to do this for my Alex but we have an HMO and they are not very supportive about diagnostic studies such as this. I need to know that there is something else I can do to help my son. When I think about the future I get sick to my stomach. I am very scared. Thank you for letting me get this off my chest. I hope to hear from you soon, Val
Val feel free to email me at kikione1@cox.net. Saying that let me tell you your fears are mine and that of so many others. Guilt is doing you or I any good so we need to work together to get rid of the guilt.
A friend/therapist reminds me each day to stop saying what if and just do it. That's what got me to write to Dr. Phil, that's what got me to follow through with my local media and that is what has got me to plan on writing a book and creating a forum for Parents and Family Members.
We need to bond together and get help not just for our kids but ourselves as well.
I was told today by the Minister I work for that my husband and I need to become a united front and work together. We cannot go down different roads while we seek wellness.
This will not be easy but if in the end we want what is best for Alex and makes us all sane we will find a way to make this all happen.
You are a SPECIAL MOM so take a breath and know your son is lucky to have you because you cared enough to watch the program and share your thoughts.
keep in touch
