Replies to 'The Meaning of "Family"'

Your situation is sad. You are only 13 and you have a long road ahead of you and as difficult as things may seem right now for you, things will get better. First, dealing with this jealous girl. No matter where you live or who you are liking, you will most likely encounter another "jealous girl" who wants to bully you. The only way to stop a person from picking on you or saying mean things to you is for you to stand up for yourself. I know you may be scared, but you will have to face your fears one day or else you will continue to be picked on by other people.  I am having a similar problem myself but mine is with my mil and I am 39! I have been reading alot of books to help me deal with cruelness created  by other people unto me and I have learned that "we allow other people to treat us the way they do". The only way to get people to treat us with respect is to let them know their behavior is NOT accepted and you will NOT tolerate it anymore. If this girl were to put her hands on you, you have the right to press charges on her for assault. I would let her know that as well. Also, if she were to actually hit you, you have the right to defend yourself. Dont let this gril know you are scared. Once you stand up for yourself, she may think twice before picking on you again. I would also talk with your mother about this. Do not let another person keep you from doing what you want to do when it comes to school activities. By you not wanting to go to any dances because of the fear of her being there or picking on you, you are allowing her to "control" you and keep you at home and miss out on your school years of fun. I would also mention this to your school principal/counselor so that they can be on the lookout for her harassing you. Try to avoid her as much as possible and if she were to corner you one day, stand up to her. You will feel so much better once you do. Second, about your mother and you wanting to move out. Yes it would hurt her feelings because even though she may yell at you at times, she still loves you. She is wrong for yelling ( I am guilty of that as well) but maybe you need to sit down with her and tell her how her yelling is affecting you. Maybe you two could go to family cousneling together and work this out. I have a 16 y/o and a 6 y/o and a 4 y/o. I find myself yelling at my 16 y/o when I am frustrated some times and I tend to take it out on her because she is the oldest. Me and my 16 y/o sat down one day and she told me how I made her feel when I do that, and I didnt realize how I was affecting her until she told me. I am also working hard at learning how to control my voice and not take my frustrations out on others. I am wrong for yelling. I have learned I can get more accomplished by talking nice other than to yell. Sometimes people cant see their own faults until others point them out to us. As far as wanting to move out and live with your Aunt. I want to let you know, things are not always "greener" on the other side. I was bullied at school through out my whole school years. I was made fun of and picked on. I never stood up for myself. Like I said I am now 39 y/o and now I have to deal with it and face my fears and not let other people do this to me no more. It is a hard step to take, but it is the only way it will stop and I get the respect I deserve. You are human. You deserve respect, happiness, hope, love and a good life. Dont let anyone ever take these things from you. Your mother needs you and your brothers need you. Talk to your mother about how you feel. I promise you, she is listening, even when you think she is not. I wish you the best. Things will get better for you.  Good luck, and remember, there is only one "you". Take care of you. Dont let these kids at school take your self esteem. You are right about one thing, this other girl is jealous of you and that is why she acts like she does to you. (with her being jealous of you, I would take that as a compliment). She is wishing to be you:) I hope this helps you some:)