Replies to '08/30 "Get Rid of It!"'

I saw the update show and saw myself right away. Then I went to Dr Phil Web site for more information on the original show. WOW! Now I really know wha these ladies were talking about.  

With Heather I can see myself in a situatuion very much like hers was with her growing up. I lost everything that I owned in a move from one parents house to the other. Meaning it was sitting at my Fathers and it never arrived to my Mothers. My Christening dress, dolls ,the hat and teddy bear I had from the day I was born and almost died. EVERYTHING I GREW UP WITH for 18 years of my life. After that move my father did not talk to me for almost 10 years. ( we talk monthly now. He divorced and remarried a very nice lady who got him to call us again and reconnect with us. :))  My siblings and I had the same situation as Heather did from the show. No utilities at times. Nothing new to wear. No Money basiclly for anything. We survived. I just went on with life. I worked and started shopping . Started over.  I started my thing of  I did not get rid of  clothes and books and things I loved.   

Met my husband  at 22 and got married. We wanted a family. So we did try for a baby. Nothing happened. Very hard to be let down every month. We started the roller coaster of infertility treaments.  We were blessed with a son. We wanted a large family and hoped for a second  child  and started trying again right away . Nothing again. We started once again with infertility treaments. On our second round of trying I did become pregnant  a few times only to miscarry. Also did 3 IVF cycles withthe last one resulting in a pregnancy of twins. I miscarried right away one twin and found the other was an etopic pregnancy months later. The up and down roller coaster put me through a depression and starting the HUGE hoarding problem. The biggest of baby items.  I would save everything that my son had touched .A toy, sock, bottle. Whatever it was I would save it. I would shop ahead of time. Need size 4t..in 2 yerars! I  also wanted to try ever y baby product out there.  So I have wound up with over 100 bottles. In the meantime  we were told we could not have children probably and our only options were donor eggs or adoption for another child . So we did adopt. That was another roller coaster ride of ups and downs of emotion. We adopted our daughter 4 years ago. So I have a boy and a girl and baby items/clothes/toys/equipment that puts me to shame. We cannot park in our 3 car garage because it is filled with the kids stuff.  

For the past year I have tried to get rid of it. I cannot let the things go. I need to see that someone who needs it is useing it. I can box it up but it never makes it to my car. I remembr how much I spent for it . When my son wore it. How little my daughter was whenI put that on her. Do you know that normally crisis centers do not take used clothing. Only Goodwill. Sure great! Let them make money off of my stuff. I cant even give away these thing to needy people it seems. I also  just cannot seem to break the tie.   

But that does not explain MY clothes and the fabric and yarn and books that I have of my own.  

I have a wonderful husband who will listen to me when I say  I am trying to dig out of this stuff.  I am trying to let this baby stuff go. I am not sure he totally understands it either.  

I can see where Heather in the show says she feels . Ashamed! Unlovable! Looking to control something !  

Flylady does not talk about the emotional baggage that these things hold on true hoarders.  

These things hold a emotional tie . That is the point most people do not get. Thank God I am do not hold onto garbage type things. Or have a ton of animals in the house. I just have boxes of stuff everywhere. I always say GOOD STUFF! 

So tomorrow I will try to self talk myself into throwing away something without even loking at it. I will try to not shop for one more clothing item for my daughter or son. I will not buy one more book. It is not compulsive spending but to turn it around and to get rid of 2 things before I buy one more.   

That is my plan at least for this year. Get out of the depression, take control of my life and the things that I am doing that is not healthy for me or my family.  Get rid of this stuff. Because it is weighing me down. But it is also my security blanket.   

Heather if you read this . I hope you have had time to get help and heal  from your past . That your husband has become the emotional rock that you seem to need to help you get through this mess. I think of you often and am very hopeful for you .