Quote From: jenoc99Years ago I also was in a friendship like this one that you describe, it was so draining!! The woman I was friends with was pretty much exactly like your friend. She didn't realize how draining she was, when I tried to tell her in a nice yet firm way, she turned it around and made herself the victim...I should have known!! She was very, very comfortable being the victim and she wasn't about to give that role up anytime soon. Our last conversation on the phone, I ended up hanging up on her. Then she wrote me a letter, going on and on about how she can't believe "your doing this to me!!" etc. It was actually laughable. Now, I can spot a person with her personality from a mile away, which is a valuable asset to have. You also might have this asset, it will prevent you from being led into another toxic relationship like that.
You bet it taught me but when we got into this relationship, we were both so totally in mommy mode and I thought we were on the same page about most other things as well. An alcoholic or drug abuser can cover up for a long time but eventually, it becomes apparent and when it was clear to me, I was deep into the friendship.
My friend also blames me for having deserted her at the worst time in her life but I'd hung in for 4 bad years and 6 good ones. I can't see anyone else having stuck out what I did and it put my own family through a wringer. I've had one of our mutual friends call me angrily to tell me that now that I've dropped "M", she's calling this friend constantly and it's straining their friendship *lol*... and she's only had to put up with it for less than a year.
It baffles me that I put up with so much though since that's not my personality. I've always kept alcohol / drugs / infidelity out of my life and yet for 4 years, they were central to it because of her. When I compared my friendship with her to my relationship with my other wonderful friends, it was clear that it wasn't a friendship... it was a Vampiric dependency and I was letting myself be sucked dry.
