Replies to '01/17 Extreme Disorders'

 I have been through all the pain over the past 6-7 years or more. I know what it is like to be involved with this problem and have no support from friends and family. I have been told "you son just needs discipline and he isn't getting it." or "its a parenting problem", when I knew it was something else. I am a money poor single parent. I have never been able to benefit from any program that costs money to use, I have simply had to do it all myself. My son is in public school. I have had to advocate for his education all by myself, now lawyers, etc, because I have no money for things like that. I did make changes in the school system for my son, both here in Cincinnati and in the Dallas area where we used to live. I don't know where the strength came from, but I somehow managed to do it by myself. Because of my efforts, things are good at school for my son.

It seems to me that you too are pointing fingers and jumping to conclusions that you have no right to jump to. I give my opinions from having been there and done that, all by myself, as a single parent, as a person with no backing what-so-ever, and so I can say things with some degree of confidence. My son became my priority. To say I have no compassion is just wrong. But it doesn't matter. I have done enough to help others that your saying that about me means nothing. Sometimes some 'in your face' honesty is what is needed. If a parent has just recently gotten a diagnosis of ASD and has endured years of pain over not knowing what was wrong, that is when the compassion is needed the most. Then the education process begins, the parents learn what needs to be done for their child. After many years of KNOWING the diagnosis, and with all the resources that are out there, there really is no excuse for still bombarding your child with negatives and with pushing his 'trigger' buttons. That simply boils down to a parent needing some parental training, not to getting brain scans done, etc,etc,etc. Sorry but that is my 2 cents. BTW, how contrived was this taping anyway? Is there a reason they did the program this way? I am still appalled at how the parents pushed this kid when I and many, many other parents of ASD children saw what was going on with this child. You don't have to be a rocket scientist to see it, and you don't have to have spend a lot of money to learn about it. There still needs to be a program on parents who have LEARNED what Asperger Syndrome is and how to handle the AS child. I will be happy when that side of the issue is properly exposed. These kids are not a danger to their girlfriends or wives. Sheesh. The point is, the more we educate others, and ourselves, the better we can help these individuals to socially integrate, to survive in this society. If we treat them like they are bad people and bombard them with our own lack of control, they will never learn what to do to survive.

I appreciate your support.  Yes we have looked for answers prior to Dr. Phil.  I joined a support group that felt that since Alex had so many normal days, and looked normal that I didn't need them.  They decided this not me. 

  

I have had doctors tell me not to look for issues, to just accept what is and find a place to release my frustrations, take a walk.....Yeah, talk a walk when Alex has a meltdown and is saying he wants to die?  I don't think so. 

  

You are correct this was a one sided show but if you go through the messages, and my lord there are so many and I have tried to respond as best I can, so many see themselves and their children in Rich, Alex and myself. 

  

I reached out to Dr. Phil because we had no where else to go and I felt beaten up. 

  

This show brought understanding to my family who didn't understand, and friends who had pulled away because they too had no idea why he was this way and felt we were doing EVERYTHING wrong. 

  

Alex wants to bring a better understanding of these issues to the public so he too can help others.  We are looking to write a book......................... 

  

If you want to stay in touch please contact me at kikione1@cox.net