Quote From: amanda04Hi, I am new to the board and I was hoping maybe someone would have some suggestions for my issue at hand. I am a stay at home mom and I am starting to think about going back to work. I just moved to the area about 5 months ago and don't know anyone here. My husband is in the Navy and where we were stationed before we had bad experiences trusting people in our personal lives so we have become quite self sufficient. We don't talk to anyone and we don't have any friends here. My biggest issue is that I am going to need childcare for my 7 month old daughter. I know she needs to be socialized and so do I. I am not ready to be away from her all day though and I can't afford to work part time, then I would just be paying for her child care. Also my husband is leaving in Oct. for a month and then next June (06) for 6 months to go on deployment, I am not sure I want to work while he is on deployment because her daddy is already going to be gone and I want to be there for her. I am scared though because my mom was smothering with me and my little brother and I know I have issues because of that. I am just scared and worried and I don't know what to do. My husband said I am free to do what I want and I don't know what to do. I don't want an in home provider, I feel more comfortable with the structure of a child care center, and with that comes the bill. I want to goto work and be a contributing factor but I don't want to be away from her all day either. ANY advice is welcomed. Thanks for listening.
I have a 22 month old and am currently due with my second in September. I never stopped working from the time that my son was born. We have our own businesses so I am self employed. Although I am lucky because our business is less than a block from where we live. I also moved to this small town with my husband 4 years ago and found myself in a position of needing to meet people. I ended up finding that when I went to work, I was not necessarily meeting the people that I wanted to meet. And once again found myself in a position of loneliness. I am once and for all handing over all of my duties at work to someone next week, so that I am able to be home with my children. If I had it to do over again, I would have chosen to stay home with my son from the start. I had good and bad experiences with child care, both in home and out, but feel there is no substitute for the real thing. I also want my son to be more socialized, because we had an in home care giver, for the most part, which I am sure that I will struggle with now that I will not be working. I think that all of your concerns are valid. And only you know what the right choice is. If you want to be at home with your daughter, then that is where you should be. I don't feel that you could ever be smothering as long as you know what you want for your child. You know the things that you would have changed about your mother, so make those changes with respect to your child. Then go to play groups and mom & tot swimming lessons, etc, and you will meet other mothers that are in the same stage of life as you are. And your daughter can become socialized at the same time. And if it is the "fullfillment' of a job that you require in addition to that, then see if there is something that you can do from home in your spare time. Not that stay at home moms have much spare time, but when she naps or goes to bed at night. Just don't bog yourself done with the feeling of having to have it all. That is what I did and eventually it catches up to you and everything suffers.
