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Replies to '08/09 Ask Dr. Phil and Robin'
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August 12, 2005, 12:39 pm PDT
 Quote From: bluewolf I faced this three years ago, our eldest decided to move into the city to be nearer work and University. He's been home for short periods while moving apartments etc since. Occasionally I do miss our long late night discussions on hugely varied topics. But the great thing is, I raised an adult... he's doing wonderfully as I knew he would. He calls when he feels like talking, he drops by for dinner when he can. He's one txt message away if something urgent comes up. Since he left home, our eldest daughter has moved out, and the next one down is now looking for her own place. It's the way it should be, its so exciting watching them take on the world! And I now have way more time to move my career forward. In some ways I think we all appreciate each other more. We really enjoy the times the entire family is together. Birthdays are a big deal in our house, everyone comes home and brings respective partners or friends... with 6 kids (we can have a party all by ourselves, lol) its noisy, its fun, there is much laughter. I'm not sure what it will be like when the last one leaves home its not something that bothers me at all. I have plenty to keep me occupied! (and its not like they don't gravitate back home at times or like there's any danger of me getting out of baking birthday cakes in the near future!! hmmm only four more birthdays till Christmas!)
This is all such a recent development for me. I'm excited and happy for my son and these feelings I'm having are ALL ABOUT ME *lol*. I know he'll do well. I know we did a great job preparing him to leave the nest and I still have a chick left but it's the uncertainty of these days leading up to "losing him" that are causing me so much bother. The longest he's ever been away was 9 days and I didn't much care for that. I'll miss having him around every day. I'll really miss those latenight talks that have become such a staple for us this past year and I'll even miss going into the fridge to find that he's drank the milk right down to a drip and put the container back in.
I guess we have to face a few things about ourselves at times like these. For me, I have to make sure I don't start smothering my li'l guy and I have to remember that I'm a whole person living a great life so letting my son get on with his life should be a proud moment for me, not something to mourn but there's still a bit of mourning because this past year, getting to know this boy turned to a man has been amazing and it feels like it's too soon.
I do know I won't be one of "those" mothers. He has a friend who went to college last year and her mom leased the apartment for her and kept a key. She turned up several times a week to do laundry and clean and just hang out. It was excruciating for her daughter. I won't be hangin' out *lol*. I'll talk to him on msn and I'll let him decide when he needs to come home without making him feel guilty about being away.
I think/hope that I'll have the same positive experience you've had. Home is a happy place so I believe he'll want to visit and I'm sure he'll miss us a li'l bit too. |
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