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Replies to '08/11 Desperate Husbands'
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January 18, 2006, 11:07 am PST
 Quote From: cnd9995
I totally related to this guys situation. I will be 40 in September and I used to be a major drug user when I was younger. Somehow, I just lost the desire to do drugs and stopped cold turkey. For about 12 years or so, I was totally clean, with the exception of social drinking. I got married at 30 and had 4 children. The kids are now 7,6,5 and 2. I had an operation in October , 2003 which had complications. In order to correct what went wrong, I needed some healing to happen--so, my Doctor prescribed me pain killers for about 4 months. After the corrective surgery, he refused to write any prescriptions, saying that I should no longer have pain, but I was already addicted.
I realized that I could buy hydrocodone on line and that seemed to solve my problem. For about a year and a half, I would get 2-4 deliveries a week. I used different websites and ended up spending a ton of money. My husband did not understand addiction, and kept telling me to "just quit"-- he was of no support! I called my insurance company out of desperation and was told what my options were. They wanted me to go to a Doctor in town and get seboxin (spelled right?) which would completely eliminate withdrawal discomfort. I didn't think that would sell my problem, I felt I needed an inpatient program. So, I went in to rehab and stayed clean for a number of months.
My father, who lives in Spain, came to visit in June (he was totally aware of my rehab stint) and asked if I could get any cocaine---so, I did. Now, just about every day since then, I have been doing cocaine. I haven't told my dad---but, he is really the reason for this relapse!!!
I really do not enjoy the feeling I am getting from this drug use because my guilt is greater. I hope I can kick this habit soon. I, like the desperate husband, waited faithfully for the Fedex man and counted my pills every day. Why do drugs produce such a tight grip on people???? Sounds like another person looking for that magic cure or magic pill...If there was a magic pill to cure addiction I would have found it because I have tried just about all of them.methadone,seboxin,antibuse are all good tools to help a chronic addict get a foothold on their addiction but it will in no way cure anything.There is no cure for addiction.There is only treatment and maintenance that can put the addiction in remission.Not all that much different than diabetes there is only treatment and maintenance.AA or NA are a good maintenance program for addicts.also good therapy from a qualified person is good and by quallified I don't necessarily mean a professional counselor.The most important person and best counseling I have had was from a woman who did not have much formal education.Patti was my therapist some 20 years ago when I was on parole and easily the most influential person in my life.I have never known any person to be more careing and giving than patti.On the other hand about 3 or 4 years ago i had to go to outpatient treatment in order to get my license back.I had a finely educated counselor that did not have a clue.I remained in that group while useing morphine and the day my insurance ran out I was graduated as a successful client.I do not blame the counselor but it shows what treatment and therapy have become. Years ago there were many treatment centers in my area and now they are for the most part gone except for a few that cater to the drunk driving laws and the state of wisconsin.If the actual success rate was reported these centers would lose their funding so they embellish the stats.when I hear of 10 percent success rateing I only wish that was accurate.I beleive it to be closer to 2 or 3 percent. |
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