I feel your pain to the bone. My dad passed away in 1992 from a blood disease (polysythemiavera). He'd had the disease for years, but I never thought he'd die from it. We were very close, I barely knew my mother I was so close to my dad. I was 24 when it happend and my son was 3 months old, his last words were, I don't want to die, I want to watch my grandchildren grow up. I've never gotten over it, i've lost my grandmother and grandfather since, and 2 uncles and a cousin. But, nothing hit me like his death. I blocked out so many things in my life after that happened, it's really sad. Try to live in the moment and don't lose touch with what's going on in your life. If I wouldn't have had my son at the time I wouldn't have cared about going on. My husband was devistated as well, so it was hard for us to support each other. I cry a lot still, but I focus on good things, Im still having a difficult time getting close to my mom. If you have that relationship treasure it. I'm so sorry about your dad. My uncle is in the hospital right now with lung cancer, and the dr. had predicted he may not live much longer. I can't seem to stop crying about that, I guess it brings up a lot of the past when my dad was going through this. Good luck to you and your family. May GOD bless you and help you get through these tough times. I find it helps you to help someone else who is burdened with death to be there for them to talk to. Thanks for sharing your story.
