Replies to '03/30 Is This Normal?'

Quote From: tlc2001

I can relate to stephanie who is afraid of being alone.  I was watching the show with my husband and he said 'honey you are on tv'.  I felt like I was.  I find myself doing a lot of the same thing she does like locking the doors at night and jumping at every noise I hear.  If my husband leaves for work in the morning before I take a shower I will bring the phone in the bathroom with me and lock the door.  I will also look out of the shower every minute or two to make sure the lock hasn't moved so I know no one is trying to get in there to hurt me.  My husband tells me we live in a very safe gated community gaurded by people with guns....we live on a military base.  That doesn't make me feel safer cause I know that just cause people are in the military doesn't mean they can't snap and there are civilians that have access to base.  What is worse is the my husband is military and sometimes he has to leave for work.  When he does it's really tough for me.  I won't sleep upstairs in our bed.  I sleep on the couch with the tv on, the kitchen light on and the phone by my side.  My husband is very against sleeping pills so instead I usually have a couple of drinks to help me fall asleep.  I know that's not good, but after a few restless nights I'll take what I need to to get some sleep even if it's not the best thing for me.  Being so far away from home makes is difficult too ( we are in the UK ).  When my husband is gone I can't just have my mother come over and 'babysit'.  I will call her though and talk to her for hours until we have nothing left to talk about.  Then I'll call my sister.  I don't have a strong fear when my husband is home, we can have the windows open and the doors unlocked, but when we go to bed everything must be closed and locked.   I get scared at night probably because he is sleeping and I feel sort of alone when I can't fall asleep.  I thought I would just outgrow this, that it was just a phase, but I'm finally starting to think I need some help.  I don't know what I'm going to do when my husband has to leave for 3-4 months.  Please help.  I don't know what the root of my worries are.  Unlike Stephanie's upbringing my family never locked the doors.  My mother was never paranoid.  I don't know what to do or where to go.  If anyone can help please let me know.  Thanks.