Quote From: dgerlachI have a husband just like Micheal. We are currently separated. I left before christmas because things keep escalating. I won't go into details. Ihave four kids ages 12 down to 4 and when their dad starts yelling and cussing they run.....it is horrible to watch. My husband thinks I also spend all his money....We have about 6000.00 in credit card dept. I have spent money on fixing our house and as long as it is something he wants then it is okay. If it is something I want then we don't need it. Although, he has spent alot of money on attorneys for speeding tickets and boys toys. I understand he makes the money and should have a say in how it is spent, but I shouldn't have to beg and plead for everything either. Our fights are arround many issues though not just money, but alot of times there isn't even a fight and he explodes. He pushed my son and I around about a year ago and then I left for a week, but he too blames everyone else for problems. Some one is always out to get him or ruin him. Now while trying to fix our marriage while separated, although I am the only one getting couseling, he is hanging out with another single mom who was a friend of ours. The anger is my main issue with him although there are others. It is terrible to live in a house when you don't know when the bomb will go off and how bad it will be.
yelling and cussing......emotional and verbal abuse.
saying "his" money.......its a joint effort is it not.....or it should be. Financial abuse.
Neglecting your house, and not taking care of things......a passive aggressive abuse.
He makes decisions about the spending and $$$.......male privilege.....doesn't allow or accept your input.
He is abusive.
He is physically abusive toward you and your children.
Blames everyone else. Typical of Abusers.
I'm thankful you are getting counseling for YOURSELF. Good for you.
Any other counseling will not work.......marriage counseling does not work with abusers.....in fact the abuser usually punishes his partner for giving details to the counselor.
If you would like some support and resources.......and detailed information on Abuse, Power and Control..............there is an abuse message board here on Dr. Phil's site..............listed under RELATIONSHIPS/SEX..........then under MARRIAGE .........then ABUSE.
Folks there can offer help, resources.....support and or just a place to vent.
Hope you will drop by.
