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December 16, 2005, 11:52 am PST
Childhood sexual abuse
Quote From: momisme2Hello! Yes, I have confronted my abuser and the numerous family members who knew of the abuse and refused to do anything about it. What you would say is up to you. Perhaps letting the abuser know the effects of his actions on you. How you have suffered. How you still suffer. How angry you are. Etc... Sometimes it is best to write down all you would like to say. I would also suggest you have support with you. Someone you trust and know will stand by you and take your part if things get ugly.
Good luck! I read a book called a Door of Hope by Jan Frank before I attempted confrontation. I really prepared. I had to confront both my parents. My father was the abuser, but because my Dad was cheating on my Mom most of his life, I kind of became the "other woman" to her. Confronting her was easier because she did try to protect me in her own "warped" kind of way. Confronting my father was harder. At first he tried to say my Mom made up stories. I looked at him and said, Dad, I was there remember? My sister told me later that my mother told him to just agree with whatever I said to make me feel better. It hurt because I felt I finally got an acknowledgement. However, when I think back about it, it doesn't matter what anyone else says because it was a conversation between just my Dad and me and he knows what he did. My brother didn't believe any of it. Later, though, my father made a pass at his wife so now he believes. The whole family dynamic is strained, but I gained some of my power back! Good luck if you decide to go through with it.
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