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Replies to 'Relationship Myths'
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August 14, 2005, 12:19 pm PDT
 Quote From: dsphswf right now as i type my marriage is on the verge of ending. this really is a long story but i can only type so much. but i kept a few things from my husband that came out and he feels betrayed and angry with me. he said that he is unsure if he can stay with me. now let me give u some details. the 2 things i kept from him was that one my x-husband called me to see if i was okay because he had heard some things and was worried about me. and second i was told that another woman made comment that "i'm not the only one my husband is sleeping w/". i know i should have talked to him right away about it but on the cheating on me subject this is the 3rd rumor i have heard about him in the 6 years we have been together and i wanted to see if any of this was true. then about my x calling i just didn't think anything of it. so my husband thinks that i may b cheating on him. he said that 3 months ago while playing poker a note was on his truck saying i know where ur wife is i know where she is ask her x. he thinks things just r matching up. he didn't tell me about this note til i said anything to him about the x calling. so he is angry w/ me and has told me that because of these 2 things he doesn't know if he still wants to b with me. now if i'm not mistaken but didn't he hold that note from me? was that okay? the x thing i can c him being mad about but to end a marriage over? a friend thinks that he is blowing this out of the water to take the heat off him. i'm starting to wonder. u see my husband doesn't work, he plays poker as a job he says and he stays out all hours of the night runs around all day and all his friends are single, have no responsibilities and sleep around. so i think i'm unsure about how i'm feeling. i know i should just call this marriage quits but y can't i seem to do that? i'm really unsure how to handle all this. please anyone do u have advice? You are in a marriage where there is no trust, no communication and games that teenagers play. You need to sit down with a professional, unbiased 3rd party who can help the two of you work through this tangled web that has been created. Once you can unravel it, work through it, learn how to communicate and learn how to trust - you can make it work. It will require both parties dedication to this marriage to survive this.
If you decide this is the route you want to go, I would first find a good counselor and speak to him/her and explain the situation. If you feel comfortable with them, sit down and have a talk with your husband. Hopefully, he will want to save your marriage as well and agree to see the counselor. You can then call and set a time for the two of you to go. When you approach him, make sure you don't toss the blame on him for this because that will drive him away. Maybe a "It seems we are having difficulty and I want to work through this. I think the issues have gotten to big and tangled for us to do this on our own. I have spoken to someone who would like to help us work through this. Would you be willing to work with me to save our marriage?"
Good luck to you. |
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