Replies to 'Borderline Personality Disorder'

You only have one mother.....Was she an abused individual?  Is that how her borerline was formed?  Are you continuining the abuse by leaving her and taking her grandchildren?  What could she have done to you and your brother?  Are you aware and your brother THIS IS A MENTAL ILLNESS LIKE CANCER OR DIABETIES?  WOULD YOU BOTH TURN YOUR BACK ON HER IF SHE HAD THAT? 

  

OH MY GOD  I dont know if this is a good board for me GOD HELP ME and give me strength! 

  

MY ADVISE is take those children and run over to your Momma's house and apologize and start over and SEEK TREATMENT TOGETHER AS A WHOLE FAMILY UNIT AND LOVE YOUR MOTHER! 

please try to understand the disorder by doing as much research as you can on it. This will help you understand where your mother is coming from. and why she is dealing with you in certain ways. My parents quit talking to me because of my BPD. this has been so hard on me. It has made my symptoms worse. BPd people have difficulties in abandonment issues and by you and your brother leaving and the grandkids this no doubt has not helped her. Yet she is reaching out to you by sending those cards to the kids. Please get as much information as you can on this disorder because like what was said before if she had diabetes or cancer you would learn as much as you could and not run from her. Knowledge is Power. Please go to her and talk to her about your concerns with her mental illness and how it effects you and your brother. Let me know how it goes. This may not be the answer you wanted to hear but  i know the hurt from experience. and i wish my parents would try to understand instead of saying its all in my head. I ache as i type this to you cause it hurts so much. Its not easy being around a BPD person but be there for her and you wont regret it. She must be a decent person you have acouple of great kids sounds like.  

  

Blaze  

I would recommend the book "Surviving A Borderline Parent" by Kimberlee Roth and Freda Friedman.  My mother has BPD and I have struggled with her behavior for years and I have cut off all contact with her.  I started attending counseling and my psychologist gave me this book to read.  It has changed my life.  Basically, if you still want a relationship with her, you have to learn how to set boundaries with her and learn a different way of communication.  It may turn out that it will never be feasible for you to have a relationship with her.  One thing I have learned however is that you must take care of you, and quit trying to live your life according to how your mother wants you to.

 I too have a Mother with BPD.  After years of her taking advantage of my family my husband finally removed our financial support and insisted that I remove my emotional support.  It was difficult but I have to tell you, our family is so much healthier without her involved.  We've moved on and formed new family bonds with close friends and spend our holidays with them.  My son doesn't ask about my mother so I haven't had to explain anything to him.  The last few times he saw her he ended up crying over something she said to him.  He wouldn't tell me what she said and I didn't pry. 

It's unfortunate that we have to make decisions like this, but as parents, it is our job to protect our families.  I plan to stress to my son that I love my mother but she is ill and can't be part of our lives until she seeks treatment and is well again.  That's all we can do...